firstsight

If you came in from an outside link, scroll down past the link table (so sorry!) to read that specific post. Also, scroll down when you click on blog links in here – many of these top links are elsewhere with no introduction.

This isn’t your typical ‘anti-twilight’ blog… This is yet another email (complete with semi-subtle death threat) from someone asking questions about it that some of you may be asking, yourself. Don’t assume that you know what this blog is about simply because you’ve argued on Stephenie Meyer’s behalf before.

This is the very first post on this blog, from my ‘clueless movie fan’ perspective. It was written on Thanksgiving Day, 2011 – then published in here a few days later, after I could reread it and do some editing. It is hysterically funny and incredibly poignant at the same time – for those of you who can’t see Stephenie Meyer’s amateur sexual fantasy floating around in The Twilight Saga. This post is what those of us who ARE familiar with vampires experienced because of Breaking Dawn’s unbelievable ending; and it may help explain for you why this blog exists. It is where absolutely everything started; and demonstrates my intentions for this blog from the beginning. Believe it or not, they were NOT MEAN.

At first, I didn’t know why things were wrong; I only knew that they were – so I was making excuses for Stephenie Meyer in the beginning, LoL! Really… every single estranged TwiFan that she has, USED to be at least a real semi-fan of hers.

Please be patient. I know that most people who are familiar with this controversy have passionate opinions; but what about the rest of you who are completely clueless? I wrote this so that readers would not have to jump off the page, as much. I recommend reading through once; then going back to read links for more details, later. If you get too angry to keep reading, pause and scroll down to the side link collection. I used to be a clueless person in the world, and then a clueless Twilight Movie Fan for a while, too. You’ll see more about me, below. And please forgive the caps, in places. I don’t see them as shouting as some peeps do. They are simply meant to make those words stand out, and that is all…

This blog is all about the accidental and painful over-obsessions of The Twilight Fanbases
that has CONTINUED with a decade of
worldwide bullying and intentional,
emotionally-harsh attacks
on the hearts & minds of little TwiFangirls (and big ones).

The feelings of obsessed fans are real even if
their obsessions are not - until they drift away.
You all KNOW THIS.

Suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death for 15 - 24 year olds in the US.

These are all REAL issues, to name a few - for MILLIONS of people:
Maladaptive Daydreaming

Absorption

Dissociative Disorder
This one is the worst biggie, and starting
to be considered an EPIDEMIC

Why are the obsessions of young girls important?

Because their feelings are real even if the obsessions are not – until they drift away. Young girls NEED their fairytale ‘escapes’ MUCH MORE than older ones do because they have limited ways to cope with life’s crap (read the comments beneath these neverending, misogynistic tabloid assaults – this one is from January 2016). If you’ve never been forced to endure public high school in the US (or anywhere, probably); or been abused as a child (unfortunately, still a common occurrence) - then of course you can’t possibly relate.

How Did this Blog Change to
Tabloid & Paparazzi Reform

- Yeah, I have some really good reasons beyond
Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson and their Fans
(Although I’m pretty sure they are enough reason at this point.)

Why Do People Hate Bella Swan and Kristen Stewart?
Believe it or not, this is a very easy question to answer;
and NO it isn’t because she ‘cheated’.

TwiNewsflash: The concerning over-obsessions of young women was the ONLY REASON that Breaking Dawn was forgiven when it was published in 2008. The ONLY people who have defended this story for being written ‘just like it is’ because ‘Stephenie Meyer is a literary genius’ are her YOUNG (and young-at-heart) fans who were used by both the amateur author and her publisher because ‘they weren’t supposed to know any better’ about vampires.

And, these are the fans who get hit & hurt the most by world bullying. It is really crappy of SM and you older ladies to continue letting them believe what they believe about these books - while they ignorantly & arrogantly (in their over-obsessions) deal with all the hate surrounding Twilight that still exists in big, dynamic ways.

Email Excerpt: “Thank you for writing that wonderful blog.. it was heaven sent.. Please someone tell him (this is ‘why the cheating scandal started’, Aug 2012). He just texted me and said he told my mom.. and for me to get some help.. and bye.. please tell him… Everyone is doing this and it’s killing me.. but everyone acts like they don’t know what I’m talking about.. I don’t think I’ve ever needed anything so bad in all my life than for someone to tell him.. I know they are trying to drive me crazy.. and it’s starting to work.. thanks again, was truly a blessing I needed to read very much so.”

Another email excerpt that I hear all the time from all types of fans:
“…
I have tried speaking to my good friend about my obsession and, as with all of my friends,
doesn't like Twilight and totally judged me lol so your feedback means a lot.”

How to Soothe an Intense Twilight / Robsessed / Krisbian / Robsten Obsession

Anti-Twilight Fans could SEE what Stephenie Meyer didn’t MEAN to write;
and Erika didn’t MEAN to write her books ignorantly, either.
Adult women have 50 Shades of obsessive fog to get past before
they can possibly begin to think clearly about this subject.

Why does The Twilight Saga have so many anti-fans? Why are there hardly any male fans? How did Twilight’s infamous obsessions become over-obsessions? Why are so many older women more obsessed than younger ones? Why did the fandom fracture into several various fanbases that fight among themselves? How did we get 50 Shades of Grey out of all this commotion?

I recorded four wildly-ranting videos (this one is my favorite – calling SM out, ha!) over three years ago at the height of my own very unwanted Twilight over-obsession (It’s not like you can unwatch or unread something – or reclaim wasted time). At that point, I was really mad about ‘how I was obsessed’ with this pretty fairytale; and I was mad that Stephenie Meyer had ‘accidentally’ done this to so many other people before me - and didn’t correct any of the dysfunction in her books before she made them into movies.

I actually say this in the second video before I had even heard of 50 Shades of Grey... “It sounds to me like Stephenie has some sort of BDSM fetish, but I don’t even sort of want to think about that right now.” (Video #12 is where you will hear me say this.)

And yet, somehow 50 Shades of Grey (this post is what exactly is wrong with fifty shades) exists as Twilight Fanfiction; and is yet another dysfunctional worldwide ‘phenomenon’?! Do you have any idea how disturbing that is? Not only does it make my skin crawl – it’s just wrong.

There are real amateur literary reasons why Twilight messed with so many people’s heads – especially OLDER women; and we are the ones who get called ‘crazy’ for it - unless we manage to write another dysfunctional (XXX!) blockbuster based on all this negligence…

Did you know that Steph’s publisher didn’t want to publish Breaking Dawn? Did you know that New Moon & Eclipse were not supposed to be in between the 1st & last books? Do you ‘get’ that she didn’t mean to cause so many of her OLDER fans to see Edward Cullen the way they came to see him as Christian Grey? Do you understand that these are the reasons why the world has always &STILL bullies Twilight Fans, Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson because of her amateur writing mistakes?

Sick-in-the-head older women had absolutely no right to hijack the pretty fairytale of young girls via Fifty Shades of Grey; and they should care when their daughters are being bullied by the world over it, incessantly.

What’s Wrong with Twilight: Chapter One, First Sight?

The Condensed Version:
The Four Main Complaints of this Blog
against Stephenie Meyer and her ‘professional’ Publishers &
Production Franchise for RARE & irresponsible,
professionally-negligent publishing and movie production.

When the first Twilight movie was being made in 2008; the last book, Breaking Dawn had not been released, yet. Because of this, no one knew at that time that Stephenie Meyer was going to bomb her pretty fairytale into the ground until it was published a few months before the release of the first film.

Extreme chaos & debate surrounded Steph and The Twilight Saga at that time for the exact same reasons that surrounds 50 Shades of Grey - but somehow, she got through it (see side links)...

If 'Midnight Sun' had not been 'accidentally' leaked just prior to the first movie being rushed; AND Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson had not BOTH nailed their parts in that first movie - Twilight would have been history.

Stephenie Meyer could have written any 'ol ending for her infamously overly-obsessed fans (and really, that seems like what she did); and they would have lapped it up like honey (and they did – especially the ones who didn’t know any better, couldn’t see what was wrong – or didn’t care, because of fifty Shades of BEDWARD!!

The entire world has done nothing but treat Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson AND their emotionally-invested fans like sh*t, since - and the infighting among Twilight's divided and HATEFUL fanbases is ongoing.

Despite all this, 'feminists' have embraced the latest and greatest dysfunctional character, Christian Grey/Edward Cullen/Prince Charming...

Popular Email Question: Why does Stephenie Meyer need to apologize? Because the world can’t heal from the wounds she has inflicted on it if she doesn’t acknowledge her amateur mistakes and apologize for them. All she has done from the beginning of her controversies is metaphorically flip off her critics. While normally that is exactly what you are supposed to do… In this case, with all the professional exceptions that were made while The Twilight Saga was being published; the amateur author (AND the publisher AND production franchise) really needed to be listening to fans. It is NOT NORMAL for roughly half of your fanbase (much less, the world!) to become so angry with you regarding a casual creative expression.

I am just using this true stuff about SM’s amateur writing to grab your attention – and boy does it grab some of you, ha! Now if we could just get past that part of things… I really could care less about Stephenie Meyer’s or EL James’ many ignorant and irresponsible amateur literary mistakes that caused all this chaos. Believe it or not, I have stuck up for Stephenie Meyer so many times over this issue, it’s ridiculous.

Creative ‘Freedom of Speech’ is DIFFERENT than the illegal type of ‘Freedom of Speech’ that tabloids & paparazzi hide behind.

Freedom of Speech and Freedom of the Press were meant to create transparency in order to protect the truth about absolutely everything - not provide a way for mean, greedy tabloid liars to make money off of young (and young-at-heart) fans who are practically defenseless against emotional tabloid & paparazzi assaults (not to mention how even more defenseless Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson are against them)…

This blog now has but one mission: Tabloid & Paparazzi Reform for all celebrities past & present (Princess Diana, anyone?) and it has been that since July 25, 2012 – the day after the infamous cheating scandal. Oh yeah, I’ve been on their stinky tails from the beginning. It hasn’t even been SORT of fun! I really hope we can all manage to put aside our differences and unite to stick it to them, someday. Tabloids & papz so deserve it!!

I don’t care how long it takes. Aside from having really good reasons other than Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson to be concerned for celebrity rights; we fans – no matter which side of the ring we fight on – are getting awfully tired of being manipulated and watching our favorite celebrities being harassed. So many of you do not ‘get’ this; but Robert Pattinson is being attacked and/or used as much as Kristen Stewart in these kinds of stories – no matter ‘how nice’ they seem to be slanted toward him, at times. It is just another way to pour salt on the wounds of their fans by being misogynistic toward both them and Kristen at the same time – using Robert and her anti-fans against their will!!

This is because the world has no respect for Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson or Twilight fans – any version of them; BECAUSE of Stephenie Meyer’s offensive & insulting amateur writing (another reason why she needs to apologize). To the rest of the world, we’re all simply hysterical to bully; just another section of the populace to be targeted and made fun of for profits – via outright assaults and numerous lie upon lie that continues

Boycott all online and print tabloids until they volunteer to reform.

bella

bella

Why Do So Many People Hate Kristen Stewart and/or Bella Swan?
or Why/How did so many of Stephenie Meyer’s OLDER fans become so
‘accidentally’ overly-obsessed with the character of Edward Cullen?
Shortest and most anti-fan & fan-variation-inclusive version that I have written, yet!!
Read it only if you dare… and only if you can be HONEST. ;)

Whatever Happened to the ‘Anti-Twilight Army’
from 2008-2009; and WHY don’t you see their support on this blog?

Stephenie Meyer Knows Why Gossip Rags & Paparazzi won’t leave
Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart (or her beloved fans) alone.

That’s why she deserves this blog; and it is why it will not be deleted until either
Steph, her professional cronies and/or her fans do something to fix the situation:

‘They took all of my heat, which I feel bad about,' Stephenie
tells The Times Magazine. ‘If they had the choice, I've no idea if

they'd even do Twilight again. I just don't know.
I think this has all come at a heavy price.'

Ya think, Steph?!!

Robert Pattinson’s Career-Hindering Rover Smear
Based on the Whole Wide World’s Twilight Saga Hate

This movie FLOPPED amidst RARE (for him) GLOWING reviews from movie critics at
film festivals who compared his performance to Leo DiCaprio’s Oscar-Nominated
performance in ‘What’s Eating Gilbert Grape’. Yeah, it’s a HUGE deal!!
This movie would not have tanked without way too much ‘help’ from
tabloid manipulation of Twilight’s huge numbers of anti-fans.

Why the Public Shaming of Kristen Stewart MATTERS to Young Girls
by Nico Lang on Huffington Post

Here’s a splash from Nico’s article: "Trampire:" Why the Public Slut Shaming of Kristen Stewart Matters for Young Women “I don't care if Kristen Stewart and Rupert Sanders did it in a car, in a bar, in a house or with a mouse. But while I might not be concerned for K-Stew, I am concerned for my younger stepsister who idolizes and worships her....” And this is an update from Nico on Salon: Racist 'Twilight' fans won't stop harassing Robert Pattinson's girlfriend, FKA Twigs

Yeah, Twilight’s still-many hateful and overly-obsessed
fans managed to p*ss all over the debut of the proclaimed

Celebrity Rookie of the Year 2014

Aren’t we sweet?

COMMENTS from the WORLD

RobnKris

RobnKris

Update 7/15 – If you happen to appreciate anything about this blog, I would appreciate your help in getting my depleted bank account back up to par. I have poured way too much time, effort and money into it; and I turned down a huge pile of money to publish it (This is actually a really nice ‘ending-blog’ post because I thought it was done – but the bullying attacks against Twilight Fans are neverending, aren’t they?).

If you can help me out even with a buck, my little family and I would really appreciate it.

Update 7/17/15 – And to the trickle of biotches who have started writing me hate emails informing me that I don’t deserve a dime for telling the truth about Steph’s pretty fairytale and exposing it for what it really is… here is a challenge:

If you really do not feel like I deserve anything for all the hard – not to mention, incredibly frustrating – work that I have put into these blogs: Read through my Twilight: ReVamped & ReWolfed fanfiction corrective rewrite & storyline critique summary - and then decide whether or not *I* deserve a few pennies out of this messy pie. I do almost as much sticking up for Stephenie Meyer, as I do at ripping her writing to shreds. It’s called, ‘being honest’.

I have had some really good compliments on it from both literary experts and Twilight Fans. It is only a summary, with just the first chapter written as complete to give it the foundation that it should have had (takes 2-3 hours for me to read through it all).

Here is one positive review (sorry, have to scroll down to the comments on this post after the click to read): “I have so very many things to say where to start..... Firstly I love your blog and the rewrite, I felt like you have given the characters depth and a new life. If I were a judge I would totally give you custody! … I am even letting my daughter read it with me because its a good story that is appropriate for kids to read and she LOVES LOVES LOVES IT! Just as much as I do! I think what you have written is loving and responsible to the characters and fans, it is well though out, relevant, and…”

BELIEVE me when I say, I would have MUCH RATHER have LOVED Stephenie Meyer's original Twilight Saga all the way to the bittersweet end. There are not many people on this planet who would have been more PROUD and applauding the loudest for a woman (amateur or not) to have written such a hailed TwiMasterpiece - if Stephenie Meyer had actually done that instead of the embarrassing, barely-edited rough-draft that we got.

This corrective re-write summary is actually very forgiving in many places - at least, where Steph is concerned. I'm sure my anger toward these IRRESPONSIBLE "professional" companies will continue to burn for much longer.

I gave your beautiful fairytale a hell of a shot, sinking MONTHS of my time JUST into researching this subject. (Not counting the months before that when you all had me convinced that it was a WORTHY diversion, ha!)

Between these blogs and the rewrite I have probably written as much as either Steph or Erika have; and I certainly put a lot more thought and creativity (not to mention, knowledge) into it. Just insert either author’s purple prose where applicable while you’re reading, since I didn’t write any – and it is darn near perfect, ha! ;)

As such, you can expect my version of The Twilight Saga to not be XXX. I rewrote Twilight by sticking to the storyline; but I made it believable – really, that was possible. In fact, now that Twilight can be shown as a believable story - it is no longer necessary for Anti-Twilight peeps to continue bullying Twilight Fans just because SM didn’t ‘get’ why she needed to make it believable.

WHY did I take the time to flesh out the character of Bella Swan and Twilight’s vampire (and wolf) storylines? BECAUSE VERY FEW OF YOU OLDER LADIES GIVES A SHIT ABOUT HER (and more importantly, the real Human girl, Kristen Stewart and her millions of young fans) - or ANY of the other Twilight characters, for that matter!

It's EDWARD this and EDWARD that (and sometimes Jacob) - Stephenie BARELY INTRODUCED you to her before you all got hooked on this crap. That's why you can pass this story off, you don't care... You're obsessed about Edward Cullen and could care less about any other character. IF this story had been published for you perverted older brats - Yeah, it would maybe be Ok!

I am NOT talking about you young girls if you're in here reading this - I've heard you talk about Bella and all the other characters. I KNOW you both know and love them, dearly. BUT, those of you who WERE NOT debunked by this storyline (no matter what your age was) SEE these characters differently than so many MORE older ladies do!

Believe it or NOT - Stephenie Meyer and the rest of these women out here (I don't care HOW many of them there are against my ONE voice) are BEING BAD, LoL!

IF we were in college... And the instructor had just given us an assignment to write the first chapter for a novel. IF Stephenie Meyer was a college literary student (which she has been - in FACT, she graduated!); she would probably NOT have gotten an "A" on the first chapter of Twilight - I seriously doubt. I wish a few good English teachers who haven't read the books yet would go through it and grade it - just so we would know, for sure.

I'm not saying that *my* version is a literary marvel - but I have a really good excuse. I have NEVER taken a college writing course much less graduated with a literary degree. If this isn't perfect... Yeah, I know. :)

We make our children do their homework - and dot their "I's" and cross their "T's" - but, WHY didn't this grown adult woman have to?!

I'm going to make you all CARE about Bella and her life, as well as every other character surrounding her - INCLUDING EDWARD - who, it seems to me; you've all just taken under the covers with you to have your way with him like Stephenie Meyer was no doubt doing when she WROTE this stupid saga so ignorantly and irresponsibly...

So when it really comes down to it... YOU robsessed ‘fans’ DON'T even care about Robert Pattinson/Edward Cullen, just your sick little "escape"!

The young adult audience that this story was TARGETED FOR - deserved a whole hell of alot better than what they got. THAT is why I rewrote The Twilight Saga... For ALL THOSE former fans who were debunked by Breaking Dawn after it was published; and then abandoned by the arrogant amateur author afterwards.

We KNEW better... and we were EXPECTING better.

AND it IS ALSO for the rest of you... I DARE you; I quadroople-doople DARE you - READ this and tell me you don't care a lot more about Bella at the end of this Chapter One: First Sight rewrite than you did at the end of Stephenie's first one.

You can think whatever you want to about me... But with this, the two things you CAN'T say about me are that *I* don't LOVE this pretty fairytale OR this fanbase.

Yeah, you be the judge – please.

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table

This is a Summary List of Links for this Blog – More Links Galore Within Them!!

Most Popular Keyword Searches
into this blog

The TwiSmears

The Twilight Saga

Stephenie Meyer

The Fanbases


Why the ‘Cheating’ Scandal Started; Telling on My Big TwiSisters (Aug 2012, 1 mo. After)

Nothing but LOVE for
our Twilight Character
Actors & Actresses
- THANK YOU!

An Anti-Twilight Fan's Dream Talk with SM

Twihards - We Movie Fans
Deserve a Discussion


July 2012 'Cheating' Scandal

What actually happened
to Kristen Stewart with Rupert Sanders that day? Why did robsten really break up?

Why is Twilight so Addictive? How Did it Inspire 50 Shades of Grey?

Questions for Steph:
Twilight, a Post-Mortem

Defining Twilight's
Various Fanbases
…In which I actually
stick up for
Stephenie Meyer, OMG!


Additional & Extended Scandal Timelines

- WAY more info than you want; but some peeps just can’t get enough. ;)

What's Wrong with Twilight Chapter
One: First Sight
?

1st Original Blog Post
- How Can You See
Steph's Sexual Fantasy
Glaring thru Twilight
?


Letter to My Little Twilight Sisters – Why I Keep Picking on Twilight.

Pre-Cheating Scandal Smears that have been going on since 2008.

Twilight: Breaking Dawn Parts 1 & 2 Movie Reviews
- easiest to see literary dysfunctions


Ramifications of Wrong Writing in the Case of Twilight Addictions
Whatever happened to the Anti-Twilight Army?


Letter to My Big Twilight Sisters – Are You SURE Breaking Dawn is Okay?


Fan & Anti-Fan Hate-Debate; December 2014
- Fans reveal how harmful tabloids have been via online article comments.


Official Reasoning for
Every Little Thing
Wrong with Twilight


The Most Common Keyword Searches into these blogs
:
HELP with a Twilight Obsession; Immortalicum & ‘Demonic Messages’?!


Why are so Many OLDER
Fans so sick
?


What Have Heartbroken Fans Been Saying
Since the Scandal in July 2012?


What EXACTLY is Wrong with Stephenie Meyer’s Sparkling ‘Vampires’?
- Written BEFORE I watched her movies.


What a JOKE!
Twilight is Coming to Facebook Because ‘the voices of women are important to Steph’!!


What Does Robert Pattinson Think About His OLDER ‘robsessed’ Twihard & Anti-Twilight ‘Fans’, BOTH?

What Have Mean Fans Been Saying Since the Scandal in July 2012?

YouTube Video Collection
'What's Wrong with The Twilight Saga'
?


Final Judgment of
The Twilight Saga
Or, Why I HATE (omg!) SM and Her ARMY of Desperate Housewives – et all TwiJerks & Anti-TwiJerks Over 30.


Help Easing a Stubborn
Twilight and/or Robsten
Obsession

Robert Pattinson's Post-Scandal Career Hindering Rover Smear
- Based on the Wide World’s Twilight Hate

Fanfiction Corrective Rewrite Summary (2+ hours) Edward Cullen
Explains His Pretty
Vampire Sparkles
,
believable ending
and MORE!


Let’s Talk About ‘Midnight Sun’
and how Steph Could POSSIBLY Make Her Huge Literary Failure up to The World.

Who am I?

9/20/12

My Twilight Obsessions


My Twilight Story in an OBSESSIVE Rant Recorded in January 2012
Be prepared to hit pause and turn volume down around 2:20 - you can turn it back up after. Also, ignore the petition stuff, it's old and irrelevant.

You'll find even more detailed 'about me' links at the bottom of this.

God, you have no idea how much I do NOT want to go into this - simply because I doubt it will make ANY difference to those UBER-STUBBORN Twihards who I'm actually trying to get through to because they NEED IT THE MOST.

You girls, in particular, are some of the MEANEST, entitled, HATEFUL, cruel KNOW-IT-ALLs; and frankly, I've OFTEN wondered WHY the hell I keep trying to get through to you (and SO have my family & friends who think I should just DROP this subject and MOVE ON.)

I will... I am... This is (again hopefully) the last blog post I will do. You'll see my attitude is changing in this post from the previous ones in here. I'm really starting to resent you ALL and there is a part of me that feels like it's starting to truly DESPISE you.

Yeah, time to move on and let go... LIKE I WAS before this STUPID Hollywood BS started!! Every single day you girls remain SILENT in here just drives me to believe that you're all a bunch of selfish cowards; and frankly, I'm starting to seriously lose respect for every single person who CONSIDERS themselves to be a FAN of TWILIGHT or Robert Pattinson or Kristen Stewart!!

From *my* debunked perspective... There isn't MUCH to be proud of with Twilight anymore. And ONE of the FEW reasons to be REALLY PROUD of this saga right now has been UNDER SERIOUS ATTACK from SOME of us Twihards for FAR TOO LONG - because of OUR INTENSE  - and again, preventable - OBSESSIONS.

If I didn't occasionally hear from some of you in email, I really don't know WHAT I would do. At least it makes me feel like all this time I've spent in here has helped SOME people, and if it only helps a few - hopefully it will at least be those who really NEED it.

For this reason, I WILL continue to pound this blog out there BECAUSE it HAS HELPED a handful of people (and hopefully some others who just are not saying anything). And since it seems to HELP MOST people who take the time to consider this stuff, it IS a MESSAGE that I will continue to market.

Here's a portion of JUST ONE email I've received that doesn't expose "too much" of someone's pain: "Thank you for writing that wonderful blog..it was heaven sent. ...Please someone tell him (apparently, someone she knows and is talking to about this). He just texted me and said he told my mom..and for me to get some help..and bye..please tell him..everyone is doing this and its killing me..but everybody acts like they dont know what im talking about..I think I may have never needed anything so bad in all of my life than for somebody to tell him..I know they are trying to drive me crazy..and its starting to work... thanks again, was truly a blessing I needed to read..very much so :)" 

WHY am I bothering?

Because I realized my obsessions and HOW we were ALL being affected by ALL of our Twilight obsessions LONG BEFORE this Hollywood hoopla occurred; and I WAS WORRIED about MANY of you back then, already. Intense obsessions - which these obviously ARE - can be very harmful and dangerous, especially for impressionable young girls like this (but apparently, not just you younger ones).

But BEFORE that, even... Before I realized the extent these obsessions had gotten for some of us, and before I realized how DEEP some of us were into them... *I* was obsessed about the SAME THING YOU ARE ALL OBSESSED WITH:

EDWARD CULLEN/Robert Pattinson (and of course, Bella is ALWAYS in that equation somehow for ALL of us in varying ways).

If I really bring things down to the heart of the matter... THIS is my original, beginning REASON for writing the very first blog post that I did; it's why I CONTINUE to have strong feelings about this subject; and it's just ONE of MANY reasons HOW I KNOW that there are SOME of you Twihards out there who ARE in DANGER as this STUPID PR Stunt continues to play out.

These characters FEEL REAL to SOME of you... And for some OTHERS of you, the ACTOR/ACTRESS who bring these characters to LIFE for us on the big screen IS AN ADDITIONAL WHAMMY because their REAL LIFE romantic relationship FEELS LIKE your relationship, too.

So YEAH... MANY of you are STILL in deep "real-feeling" emotional PAIN or ANGRY, and many of you are BOTH.

I'm pretty sure that, because of "the way" my particular brain works, *my* obsessions surrounding Twilight were ALOT like the MAJORITY of your's seem to be... MOST of us LOVE this ENTIRE story and ALL the beautiful characters, and we adore the pure-love FOREVER message.

But BECAUSE this story was supposed to be about VAMPIRES - or at least, because it supposedly had Vampires WITHIN it - those of us who were FAMILIAR with Vampires before Stephenie Meyer wrote her saga SEE these characters DIFFERENTLY than she MEANT for them to be seen.

This means that... Those of us older girls who KNEW about Vampires before we read these books OR watched these movies had PRECONCEIVED ideals surrounding the character of Edward Cullen  as well as the Cullen Family, in general - BECAUSE we were TOLD they were Vampires.

But BECAUSE Stephenie's Vampires are so much more different than the REAL-make-believe Vampires that we had in our heads... SOME of us older girls had the character of Edward Cullen built up in our minds into someone MUCH MORE dynamic and intense than he was originally created to be. (How the HECK ELSE do you think EL James was INSPIRED to come up with the character of Christian Grey from the character of Edward Cullen in Twilight?)

I know this because THAT'S how *I* had this character built up in my head BEFORE I was debunked by this story. Edward was DARKER in my mind AND he was an ACTUAL real-make-believe VAMPIRE, ha! Because of THIS, I had Edward's and Bella's RELATIONSHIP ALSO built up in my mind to be something MUCH MORE than it was supposed to be.

That's WHY *I* was SO heartbroken when I first became debunked by this erroneous Vampire storyline... I COULD SEE that this was NOT how Edward and Bella's love story was supposed to go; AND it was DISTURBING to realize WHY so many OTHER people were SO SURE it was PERFECT.

At first, I didn't realize exactly what was wrong with Twilight, I just felt like "something wasn't right" about it after I discovered the Vampire-hybrid baby - and actually, it was BEFORE that when I was starting to have questions surrounding JACOB's storyline. (I came into Twilight through the movies just before the release of Eclipse.)

I literally struggled with trying to FORCE the ending of this story into my head for WEEKS/months leading up to the arrival of Breaking Dawn Part 1. *I* think the reason why I wasn't able to "get past" this storyline was because it came up on me too fast. So many of these other estranged Twilight Fans have had LOTS of TIME to either accept/embrace this story as it is OR reject/forget about it and move on. I was TOO NEW to the situation to do either fast enough, ha!

So instead... THIS is what happened to ME...

I complained and carried on to anyone who would listen to me about my storyline issues with Twilight. And of course, absolutely EVERYONE I talked to said, "I know there's something wrong with Twilight, but it's JUST a STORY."

But DOESN'T it kind of seem like MORE than JUST a STORY to many people NOW that our obsessions are putting a gargantuan SPOTLIGHT on how NUTS some of us ARE?! That's because IT IS MORE THAN THAT for MANY TWILIGHT FANS!!

I KNOW this, because IT WAS "more than that" FOR ME, TOO for awhile...

When I was finally and thoroughly debunked from this story, it was as a HARSH MOMENT of REALITY that LITERALLY created an INTENSE PHYSICAL REACTION that LASTED for OVER a WEEK - then it lingered and lingered while I struggled to DEAL with this UNNECESSARY ASSAULT on my MIND for MONTHS!

I can only IMAGINE that THIS is what SOME of you WENT through in those FIRST FEW MOMENTS/HOURS - maybe even days, and STILL(?) - after hearing about Kristen's photos and Robert's broken heart.

And *I* was NOT NEARLY as obsessed as SO MANY of you out there ARE, girls - ALL AGES, NONE of you are excluded!! You CAN'T TELL me (especially with the feedback I've received from some people) that you're ALL JUST FINE! Maybe you WERE, but you ARE NOT ANYMORE!

Sure, HOPEFULLY the MAJORITY of you WILL BE... But what about those of you who FEEL LIKE you are on an emotional rollercoaster ready to fly right off the edge? I KNOW you're OUT THERE, and these INTENSE EMOTIONS are TEMPORARY and UNREAL to begin with. This blog is ONLY up here NOW to HELP those of you who NEED to SEE that - SEE THAT, really!

I wrote this article awhile back that tries to describe HOW I saw Twilight as a dream turned sexual fantasy rehashed in ignorance. I wrote this BEFORE I heard that Stephenie Meyer basically STRONG-ARMED her LAST book on us (the publisher apparently didn't want to publish Breaking Dawn, THAT's why it's SO BAD), so you will see a significant difference in my attitude towards her between then and now for that reason, ha!

But I didn't put THIS PART in there because I thought it would be "too much" for you. But THIS is what *I* saw in *my* "harsh reality" awakening-out-of-my-obsession Twilight moment...

The VERY FIRST graphic image that popped into my brain as these two thoughts were swirling through my head:

WHY am I SO HUNG UP on this story?
and
WHY would anyone WRITE it this way?

SUDDEN IMAGE: A dreary, boring motel room with a full-on camera-view of a couple sitting up in bed (under the covers, nothing "too graphic" is shown) who have obviously just finished having sex. The WOMAN is a very satisfied-looking Stephenie Meyer with a freshly-f*cked hairdo and a SHITTY, cheese-eating SMIRK on her face. The guy is sort of a strange, empty-looking, shallow-shell of Robert Pattinson. HE is almost completely emotionless in the vision - maybe a little sad.

I could NEVER think about Twilight the WAY I had before - after that image (along with ALL that OTHER stuff) started to downpour into my head. I WANTED to love Twilight the way it was, I really did...

But I just COULD NOT, knowing - NOT ONLY why/how Steph wrote Twilight like this; but what *I* was doing with him in my mind, AND what EVERYONE ELSE OUT HERE is/has OBVIOUSLY been doing with him ALL THIS TIME in their minds, as well.

I LOVED the character of Edward Cullen AND his gorgeous ALTER-EGO! Yes, I was HORRIFIED about what I was realizing *I* and MANY of US OLDER TWIHARDS WHO WERE FAMILIAR WITH VAMPIRES had been doing with him ALL THIS TIME in our MINDS!!

This is something I could have gotten past easily enough... I NOW know that MANY women out here ALREADY KNOW all of this "Stephenie Meyer's sexual fantasy" stuff and have WILLINGLY brushed it aside - even if *I* can't IMAGINE HOW they can DO THAT (especially SINCE this is supposed to be a story for YOUNG impressionable GIRLS).

BUT, when I started surfing the web for research on this subject and coming across ALL those OTHER debunked Twihards - MANY of them YOUNG GIRLS - that's when this blog went from being "just a vent" for me and became a SCREAM. I felt an INTENSE NEED to get this information across to the rest of you out here because I WAS SO SURE that you couldn't possibly ALREADY KNOW about ALL THESE OTHER BROKEN HEARTS, LoL!

MOST Twilight Fans who were debunked by Breaking Dawn's storyline and/or disappointed with the ending were simply MAD for awhile. Some of them poked fun at "SMeyer" and her ARMY of TWITARDS (as they became known).

But OTHERS of them were SAD, and SOME of them were VERY SAD (kinda like some of our girls are out here, now)... I've watched girls who didn't look older than 13 or 14 in TEARS on YouTube videos over Breaking Dawn. SOME fans felt a need to REWRITE the ENTIRE SAGA - all FOUR books - can you IMAGINE going through that kind of effort for something like The Twilight Saga?

WHY would any of them DO THAT?

Maybe because they LOVED and/or were OBSESSED with Twilight/Edward Cullen/Bella Swan/Jacob Black and NEEDED to make their FAVORITE FAIRYTALE MAKE SENSE to THEM in their MINDS?!

We all had BROKEN HEARTS over Stephenie's unbelievable storylines in Breaking Dawn BECAUSE we KNEW VAMPIRES; and SHE didn't seem to be remotely CURIOUS about them MUCH LESS love and appreciate them like we did (as demonstrated by her SMUG UNWILLINGNESS to admit to anything and/or CORRECT/change her unbelievable baby storyline within her BLOCKBUSTER movies) - DOUBLE INSULT/WHAMMY.

Before I knew the ending of The Twilight Saga, I would OFTEN wonder just HOW the author could have written such an OBVIOUSLY-sexually-intense "fairytale" for young girls. At THAT point in time, I was clueless and I thought she MUST be BRILLIANT!

I was ASSUMING that Stephenie Meyer had ACTUALLY DONE this... You know, written something SO PRETTY for YOUNG IMPRESSIONABLE GIRLS. I believed her to possess the HIGH TALENT that you all insisted that she had. And I STILL DO, believe it or not!

In my opinion, The Twilight Saga was just an erroneously, unprofessionally-published DRAFT of a manuscript. Stephenie Meyer was just rushing in excitement to the BIG BANG, that's why she didn't do any research OR take the TIME to flesh out our BELOVED BELLA's character for us (which is THE REASON why so many of us are so damn obsessed). Twilight COULD have been a DAMN COOL STORY if she had JUST taken the time to write it RIGHT.

After all, she was FINALLY getting PAID like a PROFESSIONAL to WRITE for a WORLD FULL of people who LOVED the concept of Vampires LONG BEFORE Stephenie's once-in-a-lifetime dream EVER sparkled in her head!

In MY opinion... She SHOULD pick MIDNIGHT SUN back up and DO this story RIGHT. Stephenie Meyer OWES it to ALL of her FANS as far as I'm concerned - whether they agree with me, or not. ESPECIALLY since she is a GROWN-UP who ALSO spent YEARS in COLLEGE toward a LITERARY degree. She's GOT to KNOW probably BETTER than ANYONE just HOW BAD her silly saga is.

THIS is where *my* anger toward Stephenie Meyer, herself, comes into play. She KNOWS and SO DO her "professional" book publishers and movie production studios! With ALL THIS STUFF I've got collected along the side of this blog - HOW COULD THEY NOT KNOW?!

You DO NOT get a book series published, made into movies and TURNED into a "PHENOMENON" like this - DESPITE ALL this PAST STATIC - without MAJOR UNDERHANDED MARKETING TECHNIQUES that TARGET the MOST PROFITABLE (and VULNERABLE) demographics of our population - YOUNG GIRLS and WOMEN!
--------------------------

This is the VERY FIRST POST I wrote in here before I ever even SORT of knew what I was talking about, LoL! Ahhhh, the memories... HOW I saw Twilight as a dream-turned sexual fantasy rehashed in ignorance by an obviously amateur author. ;)

And this is my plain 'ol "About Me" Post in here that tells you more about me, talks about why I created this blog and WHY I am SO MAD at SOME of my Twihard Sisters - especially AND including Stephenie Meyer!

This is specifically WHY this blog has been continued
My FIRST Initial Reaction to Kristen & Robert's
SPIN Around the GAME of LIFE WHEEL!
Talks about WHY it is NOW important for us girls
to realize HOW our Twilight addictions developed.
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BTW, this poll used to contain 508 votes at one point in time. I'm not sure what has happened with losing votes - either Twihards who originally voted realized their votes were incriminating their beloved goddess/amateur author; OR all these accounts have simply been closed over the course of four months for whatever reasons. Doesn't matter, I've got the original 'important' numbers recorded within these posts.

Taking Our Temperature... How are YOU feeling, Twihards? Choose multiple answers as they apply.