firstsight

If you came in from an outside link, scroll down past the link table (so sorry!) to read that specific post. Also, scroll down when you click on blog links in here – many of these top links are elsewhere with no introduction.

This isn’t your typical ‘anti-twilight’ blog… This is yet another email (complete with semi-subtle death threat) from someone asking questions about it that some of you may be asking, yourself. Don’t assume that you know what this blog is about simply because you’ve argued on Stephenie Meyer’s behalf before.

This is the very first post on this blog, from my ‘clueless movie fan’ perspective. It was written on Thanksgiving Day, 2011 – then published in here a few days later, after I could reread it and do some editing. It is hysterically funny and incredibly poignant at the same time – for those of you who can’t see Stephenie Meyer’s amateur sexual fantasy floating around in The Twilight Saga. This post is what those of us who ARE familiar with vampires experienced because of Breaking Dawn’s unbelievable ending; and it may help explain for you why this blog exists. It is where absolutely everything started; and demonstrates my intentions for this blog from the beginning. Believe it or not, they were NOT MEAN.

At first, I didn’t know why things were wrong; I only knew that they were – so I was making excuses for Stephenie Meyer in the beginning, LoL! Really… every single estranged TwiFan that she has, USED to be at least a real semi-fan of hers.

Please be patient. I know that most people who are familiar with this controversy have passionate opinions; but what about the rest of you who are completely clueless? I wrote this so that readers would not have to jump off the page, as much. I recommend reading through once; then going back to read links for more details, later. If you get too angry to keep reading, pause and scroll down to the side link collection. I used to be a clueless person in the world, and then a clueless Twilight Movie Fan for a while, too. You’ll see more about me, below. And please forgive the caps, in places. I don’t see them as shouting as some peeps do. They are simply meant to make those words stand out, and that is all…

This blog is all about the accidental and painful over-obsessions of The Twilight Fanbases
that has CONTINUED with a decade of
worldwide bullying and intentional,
emotionally-harsh attacks
on the hearts & minds of little TwiFangirls (and big ones).

The feelings of obsessed fans are real even if
their obsessions are not - until they drift away.
You all KNOW THIS.

Suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death for 15 - 24 year olds in the US.

These are all REAL issues, to name a few - for MILLIONS of people:
Maladaptive Daydreaming

Absorption

Dissociative Disorder
This one is the worst biggie, and starting
to be considered an EPIDEMIC

Why are the obsessions of young girls important?

Because their feelings are real even if the obsessions are not – until they drift away. Young girls NEED their fairytale ‘escapes’ MUCH MORE than older ones do because they have limited ways to cope with life’s crap (read the comments beneath these neverending, misogynistic tabloid assaults – this one is from January 2016). If you’ve never been forced to endure public high school in the US (or anywhere, probably); or been abused as a child (unfortunately, still a common occurrence) - then of course you can’t possibly relate.

How Did this Blog Change to
Tabloid & Paparazzi Reform

- Yeah, I have some really good reasons beyond
Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson and their Fans
(Although I’m pretty sure they are enough reason at this point.)

Why Do People Hate Bella Swan and Kristen Stewart?
Believe it or not, this is a very easy question to answer;
and NO it isn’t because she ‘cheated’.

TwiNewsflash: The concerning over-obsessions of young women was the ONLY REASON that Breaking Dawn was forgiven when it was published in 2008. The ONLY people who have defended this story for being written ‘just like it is’ because ‘Stephenie Meyer is a literary genius’ are her YOUNG (and young-at-heart) fans who were used by both the amateur author and her publisher because ‘they weren’t supposed to know any better’ about vampires.

And, these are the fans who get hit & hurt the most by world bullying. It is really crappy of SM and you older ladies to continue letting them believe what they believe about these books - while they ignorantly & arrogantly (in their over-obsessions) deal with all the hate surrounding Twilight that still exists in big, dynamic ways.

Email Excerpt: “Thank you for writing that wonderful blog.. it was heaven sent.. Please someone tell him (this is ‘why the cheating scandal started’, Aug 2012). He just texted me and said he told my mom.. and for me to get some help.. and bye.. please tell him… Everyone is doing this and it’s killing me.. but everyone acts like they don’t know what I’m talking about.. I don’t think I’ve ever needed anything so bad in all my life than for someone to tell him.. I know they are trying to drive me crazy.. and it’s starting to work.. thanks again, was truly a blessing I needed to read very much so.”

Another email excerpt that I hear all the time from all types of fans:
“…
I have tried speaking to my good friend about my obsession and, as with all of my friends,
doesn't like Twilight and totally judged me lol so your feedback means a lot.”

How to Soothe an Intense Twilight / Robsessed / Krisbian / Robsten Obsession

Anti-Twilight Fans could SEE what Stephenie Meyer didn’t MEAN to write;
and Erika didn’t MEAN to write her books ignorantly, either.
Adult women have 50 Shades of obsessive fog to get past before
they can possibly begin to think clearly about this subject.

Why does The Twilight Saga have so many anti-fans? Why are there hardly any male fans? How did Twilight’s infamous obsessions become over-obsessions? Why are so many older women more obsessed than younger ones? Why did the fandom fracture into several various fanbases that fight among themselves? How did we get 50 Shades of Grey out of all this commotion?

I recorded four wildly-ranting videos (this one is my favorite – calling SM out, ha!) over three years ago at the height of my own very unwanted Twilight over-obsession (It’s not like you can unwatch or unread something – or reclaim wasted time). At that point, I was really mad about ‘how I was obsessed’ with this pretty fairytale; and I was mad that Stephenie Meyer had ‘accidentally’ done this to so many other people before me - and didn’t correct any of the dysfunction in her books before she made them into movies.

I actually say this in the second video before I had even heard of 50 Shades of Grey... “It sounds to me like Stephenie has some sort of BDSM fetish, but I don’t even sort of want to think about that right now.” (Video #12 is where you will hear me say this.)

And yet, somehow 50 Shades of Grey (this post is what exactly is wrong with fifty shades) exists as Twilight Fanfiction; and is yet another dysfunctional worldwide ‘phenomenon’?! Do you have any idea how disturbing that is? Not only does it make my skin crawl – it’s just wrong.

There are real amateur literary reasons why Twilight messed with so many people’s heads – especially OLDER women; and we are the ones who get called ‘crazy’ for it - unless we manage to write another dysfunctional (XXX!) blockbuster based on all this negligence…

Did you know that Steph’s publisher didn’t want to publish Breaking Dawn? Did you know that New Moon & Eclipse were not supposed to be in between the 1st & last books? Do you ‘get’ that she didn’t mean to cause so many of her OLDER fans to see Edward Cullen the way they came to see him as Christian Grey? Do you understand that these are the reasons why the world has always &STILL bullies Twilight Fans, Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson because of her amateur writing mistakes?

Sick-in-the-head older women had absolutely no right to hijack the pretty fairytale of young girls via Fifty Shades of Grey; and they should care when their daughters are being bullied by the world over it, incessantly.

What’s Wrong with Twilight: Chapter One, First Sight?

The Condensed Version:
The Four Main Complaints of this Blog
against Stephenie Meyer and her ‘professional’ Publishers &
Production Franchise for RARE & irresponsible,
professionally-negligent publishing and movie production.

When the first Twilight movie was being made in 2008; the last book, Breaking Dawn had not been released, yet. Because of this, no one knew at that time that Stephenie Meyer was going to bomb her pretty fairytale into the ground until it was published a few months before the release of the first film.

Extreme chaos & debate surrounded Steph and The Twilight Saga at that time for the exact same reasons that surrounds 50 Shades of Grey - but somehow, she got through it (see side links)...

If 'Midnight Sun' had not been 'accidentally' leaked just prior to the first movie being rushed; AND Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson had not BOTH nailed their parts in that first movie - Twilight would have been history.

Stephenie Meyer could have written any 'ol ending for her infamously overly-obsessed fans (and really, that seems like what she did); and they would have lapped it up like honey (and they did – especially the ones who didn’t know any better, couldn’t see what was wrong – or didn’t care, because of fifty Shades of BEDWARD!!

The entire world has done nothing but treat Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson AND their emotionally-invested fans like sh*t, since - and the infighting among Twilight's divided and HATEFUL fanbases is ongoing.

Despite all this, 'feminists' have embraced the latest and greatest dysfunctional character, Christian Grey/Edward Cullen/Prince Charming...

Popular Email Question: Why does Stephenie Meyer need to apologize? Because the world can’t heal from the wounds she has inflicted on it if she doesn’t acknowledge her amateur mistakes and apologize for them. All she has done from the beginning of her controversies is metaphorically flip off her critics. While normally that is exactly what you are supposed to do… In this case, with all the professional exceptions that were made while The Twilight Saga was being published; the amateur author (AND the publisher AND production franchise) really needed to be listening to fans. It is NOT NORMAL for roughly half of your fanbase (much less, the world!) to become so angry with you regarding a casual creative expression.

I am just using this true stuff about SM’s amateur writing to grab your attention – and boy does it grab some of you, ha! Now if we could just get past that part of things… I really could care less about Stephenie Meyer’s or EL James’ many ignorant and irresponsible amateur literary mistakes that caused all this chaos. Believe it or not, I have stuck up for Stephenie Meyer so many times over this issue, it’s ridiculous.

Creative ‘Freedom of Speech’ is DIFFERENT than the illegal type of ‘Freedom of Speech’ that tabloids & paparazzi hide behind.

Freedom of Speech and Freedom of the Press were meant to create transparency in order to protect the truth about absolutely everything - not provide a way for mean, greedy tabloid liars to make money off of young (and young-at-heart) fans who are practically defenseless against emotional tabloid & paparazzi assaults (not to mention how even more defenseless Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson are against them)…

This blog now has but one mission: Tabloid & Paparazzi Reform for all celebrities past & present (Princess Diana, anyone?) and it has been that since July 25, 2012 – the day after the infamous cheating scandal. Oh yeah, I’ve been on their stinky tails from the beginning. It hasn’t even been SORT of fun! I really hope we can all manage to put aside our differences and unite to stick it to them, someday. Tabloids & papz so deserve it!!

I don’t care how long it takes. Aside from having really good reasons other than Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson to be concerned for celebrity rights; we fans – no matter which side of the ring we fight on – are getting awfully tired of being manipulated and watching our favorite celebrities being harassed. So many of you do not ‘get’ this; but Robert Pattinson is being attacked and/or used as much as Kristen Stewart in these kinds of stories – no matter ‘how nice’ they seem to be slanted toward him, at times. It is just another way to pour salt on the wounds of their fans by being misogynistic toward both them and Kristen at the same time – using Robert and her anti-fans against their will!!

This is because the world has no respect for Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson or Twilight fans – any version of them; BECAUSE of Stephenie Meyer’s offensive & insulting amateur writing (another reason why she needs to apologize). To the rest of the world, we’re all simply hysterical to bully; just another section of the populace to be targeted and made fun of for profits – via outright assaults and numerous lie upon lie that continues

Boycott all online and print tabloids until they volunteer to reform.

bella

bella

Why Do So Many People Hate Kristen Stewart and/or Bella Swan?
or Why/How did so many of Stephenie Meyer’s OLDER fans become so
‘accidentally’ overly-obsessed with the character of Edward Cullen?
Shortest and most anti-fan & fan-variation-inclusive version that I have written, yet!!
Read it only if you dare… and only if you can be HONEST. ;)

Whatever Happened to the ‘Anti-Twilight Army’
from 2008-2009; and WHY don’t you see their support on this blog?

Stephenie Meyer Knows Why Gossip Rags & Paparazzi won’t leave
Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart (or her beloved fans) alone.

That’s why she deserves this blog; and it is why it will not be deleted until either
Steph, her professional cronies and/or her fans do something to fix the situation:

‘They took all of my heat, which I feel bad about,' Stephenie
tells The Times Magazine. ‘If they had the choice, I've no idea if

they'd even do Twilight again. I just don't know.
I think this has all come at a heavy price.'

Ya think, Steph?!!

Robert Pattinson’s Career-Hindering Rover Smear
Based on the Whole Wide World’s Twilight Saga Hate

This movie FLOPPED amidst RARE (for him) GLOWING reviews from movie critics at
film festivals who compared his performance to Leo DiCaprio’s Oscar-Nominated
performance in ‘What’s Eating Gilbert Grape’. Yeah, it’s a HUGE deal!!
This movie would not have tanked without way too much ‘help’ from
tabloid manipulation of Twilight’s huge numbers of anti-fans.

Why the Public Shaming of Kristen Stewart MATTERS to Young Girls
by Nico Lang on Huffington Post

Here’s a splash from Nico’s article: "Trampire:" Why the Public Slut Shaming of Kristen Stewart Matters for Young Women “I don't care if Kristen Stewart and Rupert Sanders did it in a car, in a bar, in a house or with a mouse. But while I might not be concerned for K-Stew, I am concerned for my younger stepsister who idolizes and worships her....” And this is an update from Nico on Salon: Racist 'Twilight' fans won't stop harassing Robert Pattinson's girlfriend, FKA Twigs

Yeah, Twilight’s still-many hateful and overly-obsessed
fans managed to p*ss all over the debut of the proclaimed

Celebrity Rookie of the Year 2014

Aren’t we sweet?

COMMENTS from the WORLD

RobnKris

RobnKris

Update 7/15 – If you happen to appreciate anything about this blog, I would appreciate your help in getting my depleted bank account back up to par. I have poured way too much time, effort and money into it; and I turned down a huge pile of money to publish it (This is actually a really nice ‘ending-blog’ post because I thought it was done – but the bullying attacks against Twilight Fans are neverending, aren’t they?).

If you can help me out even with a buck, my little family and I would really appreciate it.

Update 7/17/15 – And to the trickle of biotches who have started writing me hate emails informing me that I don’t deserve a dime for telling the truth about Steph’s pretty fairytale and exposing it for what it really is… here is a challenge:

If you really do not feel like I deserve anything for all the hard – not to mention, incredibly frustrating – work that I have put into these blogs: Read through my Twilight: ReVamped & ReWolfed fanfiction corrective rewrite & storyline critique summary - and then decide whether or not *I* deserve a few pennies out of this messy pie. I do almost as much sticking up for Stephenie Meyer, as I do at ripping her writing to shreds. It’s called, ‘being honest’.

I have had some really good compliments on it from both literary experts and Twilight Fans. It is only a summary, with just the first chapter written as complete to give it the foundation that it should have had (takes 2-3 hours for me to read through it all).

Here is one positive review (sorry, have to scroll down to the comments on this post after the click to read): “I have so very many things to say where to start..... Firstly I love your blog and the rewrite, I felt like you have given the characters depth and a new life. If I were a judge I would totally give you custody! … I am even letting my daughter read it with me because its a good story that is appropriate for kids to read and she LOVES LOVES LOVES IT! Just as much as I do! I think what you have written is loving and responsible to the characters and fans, it is well though out, relevant, and…”

BELIEVE me when I say, I would have MUCH RATHER have LOVED Stephenie Meyer's original Twilight Saga all the way to the bittersweet end. There are not many people on this planet who would have been more PROUD and applauding the loudest for a woman (amateur or not) to have written such a hailed TwiMasterpiece - if Stephenie Meyer had actually done that instead of the embarrassing, barely-edited rough-draft that we got.

This corrective re-write summary is actually very forgiving in many places - at least, where Steph is concerned. I'm sure my anger toward these IRRESPONSIBLE "professional" companies will continue to burn for much longer.

I gave your beautiful fairytale a hell of a shot, sinking MONTHS of my time JUST into researching this subject. (Not counting the months before that when you all had me convinced that it was a WORTHY diversion, ha!)

Between these blogs and the rewrite I have probably written as much as either Steph or Erika have; and I certainly put a lot more thought and creativity (not to mention, knowledge) into it. Just insert either author’s purple prose where applicable while you’re reading, since I didn’t write any – and it is darn near perfect, ha! ;)

As such, you can expect my version of The Twilight Saga to not be XXX. I rewrote Twilight by sticking to the storyline; but I made it believable – really, that was possible. In fact, now that Twilight can be shown as a believable story - it is no longer necessary for Anti-Twilight peeps to continue bullying Twilight Fans just because SM didn’t ‘get’ why she needed to make it believable.

WHY did I take the time to flesh out the character of Bella Swan and Twilight’s vampire (and wolf) storylines? BECAUSE VERY FEW OF YOU OLDER LADIES GIVES A SHIT ABOUT HER (and more importantly, the real Human girl, Kristen Stewart and her millions of young fans) - or ANY of the other Twilight characters, for that matter!

It's EDWARD this and EDWARD that (and sometimes Jacob) - Stephenie BARELY INTRODUCED you to her before you all got hooked on this crap. That's why you can pass this story off, you don't care... You're obsessed about Edward Cullen and could care less about any other character. IF this story had been published for you perverted older brats - Yeah, it would maybe be Ok!

I am NOT talking about you young girls if you're in here reading this - I've heard you talk about Bella and all the other characters. I KNOW you both know and love them, dearly. BUT, those of you who WERE NOT debunked by this storyline (no matter what your age was) SEE these characters differently than so many MORE older ladies do!

Believe it or NOT - Stephenie Meyer and the rest of these women out here (I don't care HOW many of them there are against my ONE voice) are BEING BAD, LoL!

IF we were in college... And the instructor had just given us an assignment to write the first chapter for a novel. IF Stephenie Meyer was a college literary student (which she has been - in FACT, she graduated!); she would probably NOT have gotten an "A" on the first chapter of Twilight - I seriously doubt. I wish a few good English teachers who haven't read the books yet would go through it and grade it - just so we would know, for sure.

I'm not saying that *my* version is a literary marvel - but I have a really good excuse. I have NEVER taken a college writing course much less graduated with a literary degree. If this isn't perfect... Yeah, I know. :)

We make our children do their homework - and dot their "I's" and cross their "T's" - but, WHY didn't this grown adult woman have to?!

I'm going to make you all CARE about Bella and her life, as well as every other character surrounding her - INCLUDING EDWARD - who, it seems to me; you've all just taken under the covers with you to have your way with him like Stephenie Meyer was no doubt doing when she WROTE this stupid saga so ignorantly and irresponsibly...

So when it really comes down to it... YOU robsessed ‘fans’ DON'T even care about Robert Pattinson/Edward Cullen, just your sick little "escape"!

The young adult audience that this story was TARGETED FOR - deserved a whole hell of alot better than what they got. THAT is why I rewrote The Twilight Saga... For ALL THOSE former fans who were debunked by Breaking Dawn after it was published; and then abandoned by the arrogant amateur author afterwards.

We KNEW better... and we were EXPECTING better.

AND it IS ALSO for the rest of you... I DARE you; I quadroople-doople DARE you - READ this and tell me you don't care a lot more about Bella at the end of this Chapter One: First Sight rewrite than you did at the end of Stephenie's first one.

You can think whatever you want to about me... But with this, the two things you CAN'T say about me are that *I* don't LOVE this pretty fairytale OR this fanbase.

Yeah, you be the judge – please.

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table

This is a Summary List of Links for this Blog – More Links Galore Within Them!!

Most Popular Keyword Searches
into this blog

The TwiSmears

The Twilight Saga

Stephenie Meyer

The Fanbases


Why the ‘Cheating’ Scandal Started; Telling on My Big TwiSisters (Aug 2012, 1 mo. After)

Nothing but LOVE for
our Twilight Character
Actors & Actresses
- THANK YOU!

An Anti-Twilight Fan's Dream Talk with SM

Twihards - We Movie Fans
Deserve a Discussion


July 2012 'Cheating' Scandal

What actually happened
to Kristen Stewart with Rupert Sanders that day? Why did robsten really break up?

Why is Twilight so Addictive? How Did it Inspire 50 Shades of Grey?

Questions for Steph:
Twilight, a Post-Mortem

Defining Twilight's
Various Fanbases
…In which I actually
stick up for
Stephenie Meyer, OMG!


Additional & Extended Scandal Timelines

- WAY more info than you want; but some peeps just can’t get enough. ;)

What's Wrong with Twilight Chapter
One: First Sight
?

1st Original Blog Post
- How Can You See
Steph's Sexual Fantasy
Glaring thru Twilight
?


Letter to My Little Twilight Sisters – Why I Keep Picking on Twilight.

Pre-Cheating Scandal Smears that have been going on since 2008.

Twilight: Breaking Dawn Parts 1 & 2 Movie Reviews
- easiest to see literary dysfunctions


Ramifications of Wrong Writing in the Case of Twilight Addictions
Whatever happened to the Anti-Twilight Army?


Letter to My Big Twilight Sisters – Are You SURE Breaking Dawn is Okay?


Fan & Anti-Fan Hate-Debate; December 2014
- Fans reveal how harmful tabloids have been via online article comments.


Official Reasoning for
Every Little Thing
Wrong with Twilight


The Most Common Keyword Searches into these blogs
:
HELP with a Twilight Obsession; Immortalicum & ‘Demonic Messages’?!


Why are so Many OLDER
Fans so sick
?


What Have Heartbroken Fans Been Saying
Since the Scandal in July 2012?


What EXACTLY is Wrong with Stephenie Meyer’s Sparkling ‘Vampires’?
- Written BEFORE I watched her movies.


What a JOKE!
Twilight is Coming to Facebook Because ‘the voices of women are important to Steph’!!


What Does Robert Pattinson Think About His OLDER ‘robsessed’ Twihard & Anti-Twilight ‘Fans’, BOTH?

What Have Mean Fans Been Saying Since the Scandal in July 2012?

YouTube Video Collection
'What's Wrong with The Twilight Saga'
?


Final Judgment of
The Twilight Saga
Or, Why I HATE (omg!) SM and Her ARMY of Desperate Housewives – et all TwiJerks & Anti-TwiJerks Over 30.


Help Easing a Stubborn
Twilight and/or Robsten
Obsession

Robert Pattinson's Post-Scandal Career Hindering Rover Smear
- Based on the Wide World’s Twilight Hate

Fanfiction Corrective Rewrite Summary (2+ hours) Edward Cullen
Explains His Pretty
Vampire Sparkles
,
believable ending
and MORE!


Let’s Talk About ‘Midnight Sun’
and how Steph Could POSSIBLY Make Her Huge Literary Failure up to The World.

Who am I?

11/27/11

Twihard Fan Movie Review of Twilight Breaking Dawn Part 1 TWIST: What's Wrong with this movie? ONLY someone who used to LOVE it can tell you!!

The 'Official' Reasonings Behind
What All is Wrong with The Twilight Saga
- starting with the hybrid baby


This is my generic, "What's Wrong with Stephenie's Vampires" Post
before I got around to watching these two final movies.

And btw, *I* have NOTHING but KUDOS for
the entire cast of The Twilight Saga.
- This movie review doesn't mean a thing surrounding them.

I'm inserting this Movie Review of Breaking Dawn Part 1 here at the top because it is ALSO done by a couple of Twihards - BUT, it is a FAR more fun read for you than what I've got below. I try to throw little bits of humor in here every once in awhile to help make the heat seem maybe not quite so hot.

It might be a little hard for you to read since it is in the format of a chat exchange - but it's ADORABLE and adorably-irreverent at times. It was one of the things that made it possible for me to watch through this movie - in fact, I read it several times during the three days I was trying to get through it. They made it possible for me to be able to laugh at it.


Thanks Cool Twihard Chicks - I KNEW you were out there!


For the fun of it, here's a splash from their review - in honor of all this stupid 'Robsten' PR crap:

Natasha: She looked lovely.
Mary: I feel like even Bella haters can't even front.
Natasha: I have become a total Kristen Stewart partisan. Like, I support her.
Mary: Oh, go on.
Natasha: I think this b*tch is trying her HARDDDDDESSST to give Bella Swan some depth, hesitation, anxiety. She's up there acting her 90-pound body up into something semi-substantial, So respect.
-------

de·bunk /diˈbəNGk/ Verb Expose the falseness or hollowness of (a myth, idea, or belief). Reduce the inflated reputation of (someone), esp. by ridicule: "comedy takes delight in debunking heroes".

In my opinion, nothing more completely and clearly reveals how dysfunctional this saga is, than the movie Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 1.

For those of you who don't like to read:
YouTube Video Channel DEBUNKING BDp1 & BDp2
by 2008/2009 Twilight Fans. The 1st review is also a
BDp1 movie review by a disappointed Twilight Fan;
but she actually read all the books and it is the
most relatable review. Btw, #10 - #13 are mine. ;)
---------------------

This movie review of Breaking Dawn is finally complete and concludes with a couple of questions for Stephenie Meyer:


1) Why (specifically) do the Vampires within the Twilight Saga need to drink blood? It appears that you created a story about BLOODLESS Vampires... An Oxymoron.


They are changed from Humans to Vampires via VENOM, and afterwards their bodies are solid and not blood-based. One wonders if their bodies are so solid, how can they even swallow blood to begin with? How does the blood sink into their tissues? What do they need it for? Just because you say that's what they are? Your Vampires do not appear to need blood at all - for anything.


2) Where the HECK are Edward's pretty SPARKLES that you made such a big, damn HAIRY deal about him just HAVING to HAVE because of your precious dream?! WASN'T that supposed to be the REASON we were all supposed to pass all the dysfunction you wrote into your storyline off?! Edward JUST HAD to SPARKLE, but for SOME strange reason - you weren't concerned AT ALL about him HAVING to be a VAMPIRE!

UPDATE 3/6/13 - REVIEW OF TWILIGHT: BREAKING DAWN PART 2!!

------------------------------------------

Original Post Date: 6/27/12


Most everyone has seen this movie by now, so I'm not going to go into a summary. I'm just telling you what I think as I'm watching it. Yes, this movie review can get heated at times, but I DO give credit where credit is due, as always...

The first time I tried to watch through Twilight Breaking Dawn, I couldn't make it through the first 15 minutes. I got hung up on m
y VERY FIRST issue, which was...

The 1st part... Edward is trying to convince Bella to change her mind about being changed into a Vampire the night before they get married. He does this by telling her about himself as a "bad Vampire" - LOL! I'm sorry... but killing murderers? Stephenie wrote Edward to NOT HAVE a BAD BONE in his body, didn't she? You know what... If I were to ever actually rewrite this stupid saga, I would make Edward EVIL just to SPITE Stephenie Meyer, ha!

Edward is an EVIL Vampire who falls in love with Bella... That would have actually made a pretty good story now that I think about it. (That was PROBABLY the "saga" she was ORIGINALLY supposed to WRITE, ha!) Here's a chilling thought for you... What if ARO was Edward's Vamp-Dad, LoL!

He's SUPPOSED to be a VAMPIRE... Which, WOOT, we FINALLY get to see that... They set up this dramatic scene with this woman walking out of the theater, and then Edward swooping in to drain the guy who was following her to kill her... WHAT a HERO!


Then he turns to face the camera with his bad*ass Vamp self - RED eyes and bloody mouth with NO FANGS! He wasn't scary AT ALL! I felt like someone should be handing him a napkin to wipe the ketchup off his mouth that he had obviously (seriously) missed while eating that theater hotdog!


I KNOW they didn't have fangs before, but we've never SEEN any of them KILL LIKE THIS before... Some PROFESSIONAL should have been able to look at the footage and say, "You know, I get that your Vampires aren't supposed to have fangs, Stephenie... But the no-fang thing really isn't coming across well on the big screen. Maybe we should extend their fangs a little..."


But NAH... the ONLY things they seem to be REALLY good at changing within this saga are the things they DON'T NEED to change!


The 2nd part... Bella tells Edward THIS when he gets done "warning" her with the story above. Basically, she says, "This time next year I'll be like you... Full of courage, sacrifice and LOVE."


FIRST CLICK OFF of THE REMOTE


I'm going to insert a similar point from the newest Breaking Dawn Part 2 trailer that has come out since Comic-Con in July... Bella is narrating over the trailer about her destiny being a Vampire or something like that. She had been a pathetic Human for her entire life, but NOW (after she is changed into a Vampire) she SHINES.


TELL me again, Ladies... HOW much do you REALLY CARE about Bella? THIS is NOT how Bella's story would go. How can *I* possibly know that since THESE are NOT characters that *I* created? Because *I* know her characters better than Stephenie Meyer EVER did. She wouldn't know a Vampire if they were actually REAL and came up to drain her dry - she'd PROBABLY try to seduce it (and FAIL miserably) LoL!


NO!!! Those are HUMAN sensibilities that Bella has NOW that she would LOSE in the transformation! HOW dysfunctional of a TWIST is THAT?! It would have been the REASON WHY Aro was so surprised about Bella being willing to sacrifice herself as a Human for Edward in New Moon; AND it SHOULD BE the REASON Bella decides to become a Vampire! It should be a SACRIFICE that she is doing for her beloved Cullen's BECAUSE the Volturi insist on it, and she doesn't want them to get hurt because of HER.

I've said this in here before, and it is MORE true now than it EVER was... If I could sue Stephenie Meyer for mistreatment and custody of her characters, I WOULD!


THIS is what it would BE like for Bella to be CHANGED into a Vampire!


Dang, I never really realized how INCREDIBLY dysfunctional it has been for Bella all this time to be constantly begging Edward to change her! It was ALWAYS irritating. But, when you're watching her walk down the isle during her wedding AND when she's all wrecked out about her first Honeymoon night with Edward... Did anyone else get the impression that Bella was really forcing things? She didn't seem ready at all for ANYTHING... She just... seems to be forcing herself because she wants to be a Vampire so bad. She SAYS she loves Edward, but I really wonder...

Would she be marrying him if he had refused to turn her? I HIGHLY doubt it... It kinda feels like she's blackmailing him.

And you know, all us girls go through that "first time"; but if *I* had been that wigged out my first time I wouldn't have bothered. Jeez, what an AMAZING turn-off! WHERE the HELL is our magical romance?

Girls... You YOUNG girls who may still actually be virgins... If you feel like BELLA seems to feel before going into your first time - WHETHER you are married/on your Honeymoon or NOT - you're NOT READY. Bella/Stephenie is FORCING this entire situation!

It's funny, because as Bella was standing on the beach looking out at Edward standing in the ocean; I couldn't figure out WHY his back was to her and he wouldn't turn around. She's just standing there watching him for the longest time after she drops her towel, BUCK NAKED watching him. (The rest of us probably would have PLUNGED into the water at FAST as possible, ha!) And then of course... You realize that he is doing that so that Bella can feel more comfortable joining him in the water. Awwww... *eye roll*

Btw, from what I've seen so far, Kristen Stewart did a BEAUTIFUL acting job in this movie. In my opinion, she's blowing all those "she can't show any other emotion" antagonists away! TONS of KUDOS, Kristen... Damn, it's making it HARDER to have to watch this bad storyline. It you were doing a crappy job it would be SO MUCH easier, LoL!

And MORE KUDOS on the KISS Kristen & Robert! It was PERFECT! I'm not so sure you've deserved EVERY Twilight "Best Kiss" award you've ever received - but you damn well deserved that one! I voted on the MTV Movie Awards this year, and their Breaking Dawn kiss edit was really my first glimpse of Breaking Dawn outside of the trailers. I watched it along with all the other best kisses and voted for "Crazy Stupid Love" hands down! BUT... when I watched the actual movie and saw the entire kiss... Yeah, I'd say you NAILED it! I MIGHT still have voted for the other movie... But I would have had to think about it and you might have won, ha!


Since this blog has turned into an anti-celebrity/fan harassment thing, I'm inserting this blurb in here just since the big cheating scandal in July... There is/was a really HOT Twihard out there who was trolling the boards (like I was, ha!) with the anti-Kristen-Stewart message of, "she doesn't even know how to sensually hold a man when she's kissing him - as demonstrated by her hand 'scratching' the back of Edward's neck during the wedding kiss".

Ummmm... Kristen is playing the character of Bella, a HUMAN girl who is resisting her very impassioned URGE to tackle the delectible character of Edward to the ground and crawl all over him in that moment DESPITE the wedding audience. Those 'hand movements' go far to demonstrate that resistance.

So yeah, the Breaking Dawn wedding kiss WAS PERFECT!! ;)

I'm also really NOT that happy with the director, Bill Condon, who I was REALLY HOPING would save this story. WHAT the HELL was that BULLSH*T interview all about regarding YOU and KRISTEN planning the wedding out like BELLA would have wanted it WITHOUT altering her attitude towards it?! She's STILL about as into her stupid wedding as she is into her dysfunctional marriage! ALL SHE WANTS is for Edward to CHANGE HER - STILL!

ALICE / ASHLEY GREENE should have been the person helping to PLAN the damn thing! TRICK after TRICK these JERKS keep slapping them at us like wet fishes in our faces - and aren't you all the SUCKER BUNCH! They all ACT like they LOVE Bella and CARE so much about her precious character - and then THIS is what they DO with her! GOD, now I'm starting to hate BELLA!

CONTINUING... You young girls... Your first time IS VERY special, but it is ALSO perfectly acceptable for it to be both ROMANTIC and FUN! (Lets talk about SEX!) I don't know why Stephenie wrote it out to be such a somber ritual. Jeez, the two of them are acting like it's a freaking arranged marriage and they don't hardly know each other! It's like they are going through the motions and checking off a list...

1) Walk down isle *check*
2) Exchange vows *check*
3) Kiss Kiss Kiss *check*
4) Reception for friends and family so they can all say goodbye to Bella *check*
5) Have a side dance with the YUMMY Werewolf *check*
(Double-GRRR's on the scruffy Jacob look! But sorry Edward, I haven't been very attracted to you since Twilight. I don't know WHY they insist on making the Cullens out to be such pasty white Pillsbury doughboys/girls. The original Twilight movie certainly didn't have that issue. I'm really NOT so sure all of girls would have fallen in love with Edward Cullen through the movies if he hadn't started out as being ALOT more attractive to us, at first! And JEEZ, what did they DO to EMMETT? He reminded me of Michael Jackson AFTER he had all that plastic surgery done!)
6) Fly off to a romantic Honeymoon on an island paradise *check*
7) Nerves, nerves, nerves - force yourself to take your clothes off *check*
8) Consummate the wedding vows

I would imagine the romance is yet to come with them both standing there naked in the ocean gazing up at the moon (that's as far as I've gotten). Honestly, I'm having a REALLY hard time turning it back on again, ha! I will... (I've already warned Steve that it might be awhile before he gets his DVD back.)

In the rewrite, virgin and/or Honeymoon sex or not, after Bella & Edward arrive at Esme Isle; Bella would have been EXHAUSTED - how could she NOT be?! It was an ALL DAY event COMPLETELY focused on her. Add in a LONG flight (how much GOOD sleep do you really get during that time - especially if you're trying to wind down from being that worked up and "in the spotlight"?). Edward would LET Bella SLEEP that night... BUT they would of course be all snuggled up and cozy; and THEN in the morning things would have warmed RIGHT up!


I GET that tradition is obviously EXTREMELY important to Stephenie Meyer. But as a jaded, century-old Vampire who CONSTANTLY has contact with the most ridiculous thoughts Humans have surrounding all of their ideals and superstitions, etc. Edward, probably AS MUCH AS Bella, wouldn't be NEARLY as into these kinds of things as their goofball creator was.


IF you REALLY want to know what it would be like for Edward and Bella to HAVE SEX before she is turned into a Vampire, CLICK HERE for an excerpt at the end of the New Moon/Eclipse rewrite. I'll spell it out for you! (Incidentally, I ALSO accidentally stumbled upon the DETAILED EXPLANATION about WHY Edward the Vampire and Bella the "what's so special about her" ordinary Human girl could POSSIBLY be in LOVE - IF your attention span can manage to read down that far, ha!)

I was HOPING to be able to watch it and get some inspiration for the last part of the rewrite of Breaking Dawn.
We'll see what comes out of all this and how long it will take me, ha! (Update: shortly after watching this movie, I lost ALL DESIRE to finish with the rewrite summary, although I did manage to finish it enough to prove my points before I finally stopped.)

Update 6/28/12


Ok, I started back up with Edward and Bella looking up at the moon... I suppose the sex got a little better, but they sure don't seem to be in ANY kind of lather when they started, ha! Bella DOES "seem to have been ready" AFTER the fact. But, dang, DON'T force yourself, girls! OR GUYS - they BOTH seem to be forcing themselves into this "first time".


And YEAH... Bella is ABSOLUTELY RIGHT about Edward not being able to tell how she is feeling the next morning (aren't we ALL a little pissed with him, ha!). EVEN with the way Stephenie wrote her dysfunctional Twilight Vampires, they are somewhat empathic, aren't they? I could be wrong... But a real-make-believe Vampire 1) wouldn't be NEARLY as worried about a few bruises (and honestly, I don't think they would HAPPEN like that JUST because Edward is a NATURALLY-precise Vampire - NOT that this is a big deal); and 2) With the connection they have, Edward WOULD know EXACTLY what Bella is feeling at ANY given moment. He doesn't need to be able to read her mind.


Vampires are NATURALLY empathic because they don't have a soul to filter anything through. Things come at them, directly. PLUS, Edward has already tasted Bella in Twilight - they ALSO have a DIRECT connection through that (yeah, STILL). There is absolutely NO whiny Edward (OR begging Bella) in the rewrite, ha! 

Edward: Last night was the best night of my existence.
 

You POOR thing!
 


...And they STILL seem pretty uncomfortable with each other... And damn, Bella is REALLY IRRITATING with her horny little self. She's EMBARRASSING, even! (Even though Kristen is being really cute about it, LoL!) My Bella doesn't have to beg for anything, but she isn't exactly acting like a nympho, either. I'm just going to come out and say it... Stephenie Meyer has NO SHAME, ha!


LOVE the jumping into the waterfall - you probably can't really put enough of that CGI Vampire stuff in this story. :) (But, WHERE are Edward's pretty SPARKLES?!)


Poor Bella, though... Jeez, it was HEARTBREAKING when Edward swam away, ha! They should be having SO MUCH MORE actual fun! THIS is one of the reasons for the ReVAMPED rewrite... Bella deserves a MUCH BETTER story to romp & play in, and DON'T we ALL!


I'm on the third chess game and the music has just stopped... I bet THIS is where Bella FINALLY convinces Edward to boink her some more, ha! MY Bella is already pregnant, has rolled around in Esme's pretty sheets AND the beach a couple of times by now, and is trying to figure out the best way to tell Edward...


I was a little off... The last chess game is part of Bella's DREAM... That is supposedly the "telling" dream that sort of compels Bella to jump Edward's bones (YES, I noticed the damn "static"). You get the impression that Bella just HAS to HAVE sex right NOW. THIS is the dream that supposedly indicates that Edward is somehow an Incubus or related to one... UGHHH!


The FIRST thing *I* hate about the Incubus slant in this storyline is that it SUDDENLY brings in a bunch of mystical/magical/demonic/RAPE issues that DO NOT need to be in here. One of the things ALL of us girls LOVED about this "beautiful fairytale" was that is was so plain and simple and sweet... NOT bogged down with a bunch of magic, demons and heavy Goth themes.


The conception of the Vamp-hybrid baby in the rewrite is BELIEVABLE and done without using ANY magic/demons, at all! SINCE Stephenie OBVIOUSLY wasn't into "horror" LIKE she SAYS... WHAT the HELL is she doing SKIMMING through this kind of "evil" stuff for, then?


I read an extension of the quote below somewhere once... In addition, Stephenie Meyer claims that when she did research this "only time" is ALSO when she came across "Incubus"; and apparently she read enough about them to see that they could procreate with Human women. At that point, she no-doubt threw out most of the INCUBUS Lore along with Vampire Lore and just... Thought up this INCREDIBLY BAD storyline.

"The only time I really did any research on vampires was when the character Bella did research on vampires. Because I was creating my own world, I didn't want to find out just how many rules I was breaking." Stephenie Meyer, Author of The Twilight Saga 

I've read that you wrote Twilight starting with Chapter 13, which is supposedly the basic transcript of your beloved, sparkly dream; and THEN you wrote through to the end and brought things back around. BUT, you don't get to Bella doing any research on Edward until JUST BEFORE that "meadow scene" that you STARTED with!


You hadn't done ANY research on Vampires up until THAT point?! And THEN, you just decide to tack on ANOTHER mystical creature's DEMONIC influence into your "brilliantly made-up story"? The fact that she realized that she EVENTUALLY needed to do research "for Bella" in order to make things believable FOR US, her AUDIENCE... Where were those thoughts in the BEGINNING of creating your story, Stephenie?


NO!!! Stephenie Meyer COULD have written her story as believably without all the TRICKS and turns she is so fond of using. If you were trying to KISS - "Keep It Simple, Stupid"; then you DAMN WELL should have KEPT it SIMPLE, Stephenie!


ESPECIALLY, since you have admitted OVER and OVER again that you didn't do research... Apparently, the literary concept of "writing what you know about" was LOST on you during your college years. If you WANT to play in fantasyland with the big kids... And you want their money without pissing them off, too - DO your RESEARCH or KEEP it SIMPLE, Stupid!


NO, I DON'T know every detail Stephenie had worked out surrounding Incubus for this... I DO KNOW that whatever she came up with isn't NEARLY good enough, SIMPLY because you CAN'T go from telling a story about VAMPIRES and then switch to INCUBUS, because NOW you want to convince people that your story has valid horror elements in it - whether they make sense or not!


ANY relations to "Incubus" that they Cullens may have had, SHOULD have been hinted at in this story LONG by now... AND it should have been explained. Edward and the Cullens should KNOW what they are! Stephenie's Vampires don't even SEEM like demons in Twilight, so *I* didn't rewrite them "as demons"! WHERE can this demon/Incubus thing come from?!


INCUBUS are DEMONS who survive in this world by HAVING SEX. They do NOT start out as a Human NOR are they "partially" Human... There is NO getting around that! I can't even BEGIN to imagine WHY Stephenie Meyer even THOUGHT to use them in her story. They are basically demon RAPISTS who PREY on sleeping Human women - AND there is ALL KINDS of OTHER sick, sexually-twisted mythology surrounding them - FAR worse than Vampires! ANY Incubus baby born from a Human woman is ALSO a DEMON - an EVIL one, not a cute little Vamp-Human hybrid.


The author of this saga and EVERY corporate big-wig who helped her forced this crap down our throats should REALLY be ashamed of themselves.


Taking another break...
--------------------------


Update 6/29/12


JUST BECAUSE a local servant has heard of "legends" surrounding demon pregnancies - DOESN'T make it a VALID POINT! You can't just have people SAY that's how it is and THAT'S what "MAKES IT SO"!


And poor Jacob AND Charlie... In the rewrite, BOTH of them already know about Edward being a Vampire by now AND Charlie actually kind of gets to say goodbye to Bella just before she is changed into a Vampire. FAR more satisfying of a storyline. I HATE this lying to Charlie stuff!

HOW CAN Carlisle say that they "didn't even know it was possible" when HE is a MEDICAL EXPERT several times over!!! Of COURSE he would have a suspicion and WARN Edward - SINCE Edward was obviously unable to think of it, himself! (Which, *I* think he WOULD HAVE since her HAD heard of mutant babies previously!)

Aside from the parts I hated about this scene, I DID really ENJOY the Cullen's heated back and forth with ESME turning into a mamma bear to keep her girls in line - I LOVED that, ha! I had NO IDEA that ALICE was against Bella having the baby - I thought she had decided to "not take sides". It actually makes ALOT more sense for Alice to be against it. She wouldn't want to lose Bella ANY MORE than Edward would.

HOWEVER, Rosalie MAY be helping Bella out because Bella asked her for help; BUT she can't be under ANY kind of impression that this is "just a harmless little baby". She KNOWS what SHE is... It's just that it wouldn't matter to her JUST like it doesn't matter to Bella.

Btw, I'm LOVING Jacob in here (so far); but HATING the wolf pack. Jake's storyline is MORE dyfunctional than the Vampire Lore within this story!

Admittedly, I didn't hate the wolf pack until I found out how irresponsibly Stephenie Meyer had bastardized the REAL Quileute Tribe's Creation Oral History into her stupid saga. YEAH, this is FIXED in the rewrite, too! CLICK HERE for the Twilight New Moon Rewrite with Jacob ReWOLFED... The FIX turned out pretty damn good!

I KNOW I'm not the only person who thinks the wolf pack conversation "as wolves" turned out pretty stupid - even die-hard Twihards go on about that scene. Yeah, it was kind of exciting while Sam was trying to pull rank on Jake; but Jake's heated comeback just before he ran off would have been FAR more pointed if he had done that as his Human self.

I mean, SINCE you can't really SEE the emotions on their wolf faces when they are angry, unless they are growling/fighting. And was it my imagination, or did they even SOUND a little different? Jacob's lines NEEDED to be IN JACOB'S VOICE that we are ALL familiar with and it should have been CLEAR. It was too distorted in this scene for it to be NEARLY effective as it could have been.

THIS is another scene that I would have thought a PROFESSIONAL would have been able to look at and make a couple of professional-type adjustments. You wouldn't have had to reshoot the WHOLE scene, but just have Jake phase back into his Human-self for that line. You know, like he is DOUBLE-DARING Sam to attack him as a HUMAN who was born with this privileged legacy that he's spouting off about!

And YEAH... I REALLY hate that Stephenie has this baby coming so fast and hard. I can't IMAGINE WHY she was in SUCH a hurry to change Bella into a Vampire! Bella & Edward had a HORRIBLE Honeymoon, and then THIS drama starts... And they don't EVEN get to enjoy hardly any "dreaming about the baby time" together because she has Edward written as a SUCH a wimpy SPAZ!

I LOVE Seth and Leah coming into play with Jacob in here, ha!

Just got past the scene where Carlisle tells Bella that there are some things even venom can't fix, AND that she's broken a rib and it's crushing her from the inside out - she's HUGE! But STILL... NO on taking the baby? How big does the thing need to be?

Ok, DUMBEST thing I've EVER heard Alice say (and she is one of MY favorite characters in Twilight)...  "If ONLY I could see the fetus, maybe I could figure out what it wants".

It's a VAMPIRE, Alice... I CAN'T believe they haven't figured this out before THIS point in the movie! Bella is HUGE... This is just a LAME, STUPID excuse to make us all feel even WORSE for Bella! WHAT ELSE could this kid POSSIBLY WANT?!

And, I'm sorry... Lots of eye-rolling was happening when Edward starts to read the baby's mind. (Although I will acknowledge that the scene was sweet.) If anything, NOW is when they would know that they can take the baby SINCE Edward can read it's mind.

And of course, in the rewrite... All this silly HUNTING stuff is null & void!

Ok,... Renesmee has JUST been born and Bella has just died... AFTER they WASTED all those silly moments with Edward posing with the bloody baby. NO! Edward wouldn't have STOPPED with Bella just to FAWN over the baby for a bit, BELLA'S LIFE is STILL in JEOPARDY! Edward should have began IMMEDIATELY to change Bella!

Her back just practically broke in HALF and the umbilical cord supposedly became detached - but everything is OKAY for a few, tender moments of bloody baby family time. (There was really only ONE thing *I* wanted to see about Stephenie Meyer's baby, and that was her biting Bella. I thought it would be cute, ha! But NO...)

AND... Bella has been dead for TOO LONG for Edward to change her into a Vampire by this time. They've PISSED around and she DIED. ONCE a Human is DEAD, you can't change them AFTERWARDS!

A friend, a brother, a protector... REALLY, THIS is WHAT we are supposed to believe Jacob has IMPRINTED on this NEWBORN baby for? EVEN THOUGH at the BEGINNING of all this... Jacob and Leah are talking about this imprinting thing as if it is "the thing" that connects them to a MATE; and then LATER, Leah chooses to leave the pack because of her BROKEN, IMPRINTED-UPON HEART.

I'm sorry... THAT is NOT EVEN SORT of a FIX, Stephenie Meyer, Bill Condon and WHOEVER ELSE thought that THIS part of the story absolutely HAD to be in here!

"No killing who a werewolf imprints on is their absolute law"... Edward says this, apparently reading the wolf packs minds after Jacob comes out to join the fight.

It is HIGHLY UNLIKELY that their ABSOLUTE LAW is surrounding something like "not killing an imprinted mate". It PROBABLY doesn't need to happen very often - if EVER!!!

Edward: She's too still, maybe I got to her too late.
Carlisle: No Edward, it's the morphine, listen to her heart... BUT they SHOWED Bella's HEART being burned by the venom, earlier!

And then, LATER... As Bella is laying there changing into this "Twilight Vampire"... It looks like everything turns SOLID inside of her body, and that is ALWAYS the impression I have gotten out of these Vampires. They are supposed to be "frozen" - but I couldn't figure out WHY that never really made sense before, even though I could see why venom SHOULDN'T be "the thing" that transforms them...

WHAT in the WORLD would they NEED to drink blood for if their bodies change into this solid, frozen substance?

Answer me THIS ONE QUESTION, Stephenie Meyer... WHY do YOUR Vampires EVEN DRINK BLOOD?! What, SPECIFICALLY, do they need it for? SERIOUSLY..?! *I* can tell you why EVERY OTHER make-believe Vampire anyone has ever thought up drinks blood. Can you tell me WHY YOUR's DO?!

It isn't even a BLOOD-BASED body! HOW does it soak into their tissues when they drink it - and HOW can they even SWALLOW to drink it?! Vampires HAVE a PURPOSE for drinking Human blood - this is BEYOND DYSFUNCTIONAL! Thanks for making it more clear for us!

HOW could Edward's SOLID "Vampire" body create ANY SEMEN to impregnate Bella?!

Your Vampires are BLOODLESS - they don't need it for ANYTHING! YOUR Vampires are SUNPIRES, ha! They are CRYSTALLINE (yet somehow FROZEN, too - because of venom instead of BLOOD, I guess) BEINGS who sparkle in the SUN because THAT's what THEY NEED apparently because they're FROZEN! They're SO cold, they need rays of sunshine to survive, ha!

That is the ONLY WAY YOUR "Vampires" make ANY sense, Stephenie! Since you obviously didn't like reading about the topic of blood, then you should have just THROWN IT OUT instead of DEBUNKING ANYONE!

DO YOU have ANY idea WHY I'm SO MAD about what you did with this story? Do you have any CLUE why ANY of us got so mad at you? (I realize I'm pretty lonely up here now that you've got just about the ENTIRE PLANET brainwashed, now.) But REALLY... Aren't you even curious?!

It's because WE can SEE what your pretty fairytale COULD HAVE BEEN - in FACT, it was the REASON why so MANY of us were READING it until you DEBUNKED us - IF you had taken the time to write The Twilight Saga responsibly to begin with.

We can see CLEARLY... That your amateur story is NOT EVEN SORT of good enough. I don't care HOW many people there seem to be out there against my one voice.

THE FEW GOOD THINGS

The Acting - Thumbs up all around! 

Even when I was cringing... The actors & actresses make the storyline bearable to watch!


I've read LOTS of reviews - alot of them have good things to say about Kristen's acting; they seem to be split about 50/50 on Taylor's; and Robert's seems to be on the down side.

I LOVED Kristen in this movie, dammit! She was ALWAYS "RIGHT-ON-THE-MONEY"! And since the MAJORITY of my cringing scenes revolved around her storyline, that's saying ALOT!

Tyler was REALLY GOOD... I've heard ALOT of bad reviews on his acting in this movie (mixed in with some good ones; but he was ADORABLY hurt and brave. I LOVED him in this - AND his two SIDEKICKS, Seth & Leah!)

"If it's the right thing to do"... Great line, and well-said, BooBoo! It felt like you meant it. It is, in fact, THE LINE that stuck out at me the MOST in this entire movie now that I'm done watching it. :)

And Honestly... I don't think Robert really EVER had a decent character to begin with for him to be judged too harshly. I thought he made a damn good Edward in Twilight and New Moon, but ever since then this saga has been f*cked up. As they say, "A cook is only as good as the ingredients"! I think he's a trooper for sticking Twilight out, ha!

LOVED most of THE CULLENS - I had some issues with Carlisle, but again... Too damn much dysfunction for his character to work with!

I loved seeing more of Esme, but would have loved to have seen more of ALL of them (even WITH all the BAD makeup)!

BEST SCENES

THE WEDDING KISS!!! Well Done!

I'm weird... Another one of my favorite characters is Jessica. I loved all her snotty little comments throughout the reception, ha! ("So, when do you think she's gonna start to show?") Just give her a couple of weeks, LoL!

And awwww.... Wasn't Edward taking Bella outside so she could dance with Jake sweet... Up until the cringe moment.

I LOVED the Vampire piggy-back jump off the waterfall! WOOT!

I loved the Cullens arguing.

Honestly, the ONLY thing I really liked about Bella being pregnant was seeing Edward bend out of shape over it. JUST for awhile, sometimes... he actually seemed like a real-make-believe Vampire. On TOP of that, in the previous movies anyway; you get the impression that he would NEVER raise his voice to Bella. It was nice to see him stick up for himself for a change. He does that in the rewrite too, but I think he and Bella, in general, get into more than one heated discussion over it, ha! (Then again, my Bella is pregnant longer).

I liked Jacob & Seth's conversation after Seth followed him, and then Jacob & Leah's conversation later, as they are discovering that they lost their telepathic connection to the wolfpack after they left.

Esme handing out sandwiches, ha!

I HATED the lies to Charlie!
-------------------------------------------

I AM relieved to have FINALLY finished with the movie (it only took me three days)... Although I wish I didn't feel so damn sh*tty about all this. I was hoping for some corrections... WORST storyline for an epic movie series, EVER!

NONE of you "professional creators" who were responsible for bringing The Twilight Saga to the masses deserved ONE RED CENT that you made off this PATHETIC attempt at a "beautiful fairytale" - Not ONE of you!

Damn, if there was EVER a time I felt like crying over this stupid story, it's now... You wasted SO much of my time, Stephenie... And you COULD have written this story right to begin with.

The reason why I've taken the time to write this ENTIRE blog out - including this Breaking Dawn movie review AND The Twilight Saga ReVAMPED & ReWOLFED Rewrite - is because I HOPE you see it someday, or someone TELLS you about it... And MAYBE you'll even be curious enough to want to know what SUCKS SO MUCH about your beloved saga that someone like me would take the time to go through this much trouble.

And maybe someday you'll actually feel BAD about what you did with The Twilight Saga and all these pretty characters you MADE the WORLD fall in love with - within your DISASTROUS, OVERLY-LOVED, SERIOUSLY DEBUNKED literary FAILURE! 

Below is My Collection of Reviews on Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 2:
(Yeah, I've started watching it and someday I may actually finish it - I've been busy. ;) 

Update 11/18/12

Here's a Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 2 movie review I can live with
because I can relate to my opinions about this "saga" as being similar to the person who wrote it, ha! It's a GOOD REVIEW and contains SPOILERS, including the NEW ENDING!! Yeah, it sounds EXCITING!!


WAY to WORK OUT a GREAT ENDING, Stephenie and Melissa - I always KNEW all Stephenie needed was a little HELP, ha! It isn't really "new", just EXPOUNDED upon - which is something that should have HAPPENED the FIRST time around when it was originally written - along with that hunting scene - I BET it was FUN watching Bella HUNT!!

And this is another GOOD movie review I've found of BDp2 that also manages to capture my sentiments about this "franchise". It's called, "Breaking Dawn Part 2 Thumbs Its Nose At Fandom And Hollywood And Transcends Its Franchise".

Does BDp2 REDEEM the rest of the series because they somehow managed to give the ending SOME substance? Not for me, since BDp1 was such an INCREDIBLE FAILURE. But, it DOES make it worth watching for those of you who could care less how irrelevant Stephenie's "vampires" ARE within our wonky world.

JUST THINK what your FASCINATING "SAGA" could have been IF you had taken the time to DO THE RESEARCH and WRITE your pretty fairytale in a BELIEVABLE, non-OFFENSIVE way, Stephenie...

EVERYONE would be LOVING it right now INSTEAD of SO MANY of us being SO DAMN GLAD it's finally OVER!!

This is what the majority of people out here think of your pretty "saga" TODAY - nice, huh? Here's another pretty accurate perspective - and here's the END slice from it:


"To further paraphrase the raw feeling of Miss Lewis’s international smash hit: This series has cut open my friend and her fellow so-called Twi-hards. They keep bleeding, keep, keep bleeding love. Now that’s it’s over, they don’t need Kleenex. They need tourniquets."
















PLEASE SIGN THE PETITION, WORLD!

JANUARY 2013 UPDATE:

The Twilight Petition is down now (whew!!), but the FIGHT for the privacy rights of celebrities CONTINUES... If you've ever really LOVED The Twilight Saga, Kristen Stewart or Robert Pattinson, put your signature where your heart is and SET THEM FREE by SIGNING!!

SIGN the PETITIONS
to set these two professional actors and
ALL Celebrities FREE by insisting Hollywood
REFORM ITSELF!



4 comments:

  1. You're REAL bright, Sophie - that's what this blog is ABOUT! :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. I have so very many things to say where to start..... Firstly I love your blog and the rewrite, I felt like you have given the characters depth and a new life. If I were a judge I would totally give you custody! Next you had mentioned about Renesmee biting Bella she did ( Breaking Dawn page 353) although you do find out that Renesmee doesn't have venom. However that's not explained until the end of the book ( Breaking Dawn page 735 to 737 for the full story) on page 737 about half way down the page the hybrid boy Alice found he was born to a human mother who was impregnated by a vampire. He explained that he has sister's because his father had slept with other women and that the girls don't have venom but doesn't know if it is gender or random chance.
    I am so happy I found your blog and I cannot wait to finish reading the rewrite! I am even letting my daughter read it with me because its a good story that is appropriate for kids to read and she LOVES LOVES LOVES IT! Just as much as I do! I think what you have written is loving and responsible to the characters and fans, it is well though out, relevant, and I am more than sure (although I'm not there yet) in the reWolfed version you will be more respectful of the Quilette tribe. As a woman of Native American decent (Crow Indians) I was totally appalled by what SM did to their stories and history and her portrayal of them. SHAME ON YOU STEPHANIE MEYER! I hope she does see your blog and rewrite and is ashamed of herself and apologizes to us all and then does the right thing and gives the Quilette Tribe compensation for the movies success and additional compensation for defamation of character, because legally that's what she did she took a beautiful and rich history and culture and turned it into shirtless meathead living in shacks! Its deplorable!
    Anywho I'm taking up space but I've been dying to get that out and I feel better! Again thank you so much for your blog and your rewrite! On an unrelated note your rewrite has inspired my own creativity and I am finally picking up in finishing an old storie I had started (come to think of it I last wrote in 2009 which was around the time I started reading the Twilight saga..... wonder if that explains it. .... lol) anyway wonder if you had any tips or advice to share with an aspiring author. I know Keep It Simple, write what you know and do your research. Anything else? Thanks your the best!!
    Erin

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    1. OMG - THANK YOU, ERIN! I knew I wasn't crazy, there HAD to be some semi-sane chicks out here.

      You have NO IDEA how much I needed to hear something like this from someone who didn't seem to START OUT hating me, ha!

      Thank you SO MUCH for your input, I always ENJOY criticism from people who have read the Twilight books. I certainly wasn't rewriting it for ME; if I had, the entire storyline would have been MUCH DIFFERENT, LoL!

      I knew about female vamp hybrids supposedly not being venomous - but the baby biting Bella was REALLY the ONLY thing I thought might be cute about her, LoL!

      I rewrote the story the way I did BECAUSE I LOVED it and I WAS OBSESSED with it JUST like everyone else is/was!! Steph's characters were SERIOUSLY DYSFUNCTIONAL from what *I* could see in SO MANY ways. I just couldn't ACCEPT the storyline the way it was. I'm SURE that's why alot of OTHER fans rewrote the story, too.

      Stephenie Meyer wrote her saga the way SHE did BECAUSE SHE was in LOVE with her (sexual, sorry I REALLY DO hate to say that) FANTASY. She took the story where SHE wanted them to go instead of where her CHARACTERS told her to go.

      As far as advice... I learned ONE really good thing while rewriting The Twilight Saga. You REALLY CAN get HUNG UP within your OWN PSYCHE if YOU are obsessed with the characters.

      Having a skeleton storyline planned out AHEAD of time (not that it can't change) helped ALOT. Since this story was already written, it was semi-easy for me to stay within it.

      HOWEVER, *I* can certainly SEE that if you are someone writing a story "off the TOP of your HEAD" with characters you are TOO "into" - your mind, and thus your INTERNAL FANTASY LIFE, can AND will take your characters for a spin if you don't keep a grip on them, ha!

      While it WAS a discipline for me to stay within the storyline, it wasn't HARD - and it DID give me a guide to stick to.

      It kept me reminded of the points I would need to be making ahead (like how/why Jacob and Bella fall in love WHILE I'm in the middle of writing about Edward & Bella BEING in love) - keeping those things in mind so they work into the story believably later, etc.

      I'm REALLY not sure how Stephenie got through her story without doing research. It is COMPLETELY incomprehensible to me that she wasn't even a little bit curious about Vampires OR the Tribe to research them.

      We all know how curious WE are about those details, how Stephenie wasn't curious about them is AMAZING.

      So I guess that would be suggestion number TWO. If you're NOT curious about your characters then you're PROBABLY obsessed with them. NOT that this is a bad OR unusual thing... But if you're NOT going to take the time to so the research about SPECIALTY genres, characters, places, etc - KEEP IT for yourself, please.

      Don't screw with people's heads because YOUR head is in the clouds.

      Stephenie's story SHOULD have been accepted by her publishers because they COULD SEE something special it it. BUT, they also SHOULD have corrected it like ANY professional publisher would have BEFORE any of these books were ever published.

      So, piece of advice number THREE - have people read your book, get opinions and USE those opinions to help you make it BETTER before you try to get it published.

      I've heard Stephenie say that she would love to rewrite Twilight - but you can't go back and do that anymore, NOW. NEVER send something OUT to a publishing company that YOU are not pretty sure about. DON'T expect THEM to fix it.

      Twilight is the PERFECT reason why... publishers AND production companies obviously can't necessarily be trusted to do the "professional" parts of their jobs.

      Good luck with your NEW/old story, Erin - and let me know how it goes AND what you think of the entire Twilight rewrite! :)

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BTW, this poll used to contain 508 votes at one point in time. I'm not sure what has happened with losing votes - either Twihards who originally voted realized their votes were incriminating their beloved goddess/amateur author; OR all these accounts have simply been closed over the course of four months for whatever reasons. Doesn't matter, I've got the original 'important' numbers recorded within these posts.

Taking Our Temperature... How are YOU feeling, Twihards? Choose multiple answers as they apply.