firstsight

If you came in from an outside link, scroll down past the link table (so sorry!) to read that specific post. Also, scroll down when you click on blog links in here – many of these top links are elsewhere with no introduction.

This isn’t your typical ‘anti-twilight’ blog… This is yet another email (complete with semi-subtle death threat) from someone asking questions about it that some of you may be asking, yourself. Don’t assume that you know what this blog is about simply because you’ve argued on Stephenie Meyer’s behalf before.

This is the very first post on this blog, from my ‘clueless movie fan’ perspective. It was written on Thanksgiving Day, 2011 – then published in here a few days later, after I could reread it and do some editing. It is hysterically funny and incredibly poignant at the same time – for those of you who can’t see Stephenie Meyer’s amateur sexual fantasy floating around in The Twilight Saga. This post is what those of us who ARE familiar with vampires experienced because of Breaking Dawn’s unbelievable ending; and it may help explain for you why this blog exists. It is where absolutely everything started; and demonstrates my intentions for this blog from the beginning. Believe it or not, they were NOT MEAN.

At first, I didn’t know why things were wrong; I only knew that they were – so I was making excuses for Stephenie Meyer in the beginning, LoL! Really… every single estranged TwiFan that she has, USED to be at least a real semi-fan of hers.

Please be patient. I know that most people who are familiar with this controversy have passionate opinions; but what about the rest of you who are completely clueless? I wrote this so that readers would not have to jump off the page, as much. I recommend reading through once; then going back to read links for more details, later. If you get too angry to keep reading, pause and scroll down to the side link collection. I used to be a clueless person in the world, and then a clueless Twilight Movie Fan for a while, too. You’ll see more about me, below. And please forgive the caps, in places. I don’t see them as shouting as some peeps do. They are simply meant to make those words stand out, and that is all…

This blog is all about the accidental and painful over-obsessions of The Twilight Fanbases
that has CONTINUED with a decade of
worldwide bullying and intentional,
emotionally-harsh attacks
on the hearts & minds of little TwiFangirls (and big ones).

The feelings of obsessed fans are real even if
their obsessions are not - until they drift away.
You all KNOW THIS.

Suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death for 15 - 24 year olds in the US.

These are all REAL issues, to name a few - for MILLIONS of people:
Maladaptive Daydreaming

Absorption

Dissociative Disorder
This one is the worst biggie, and starting
to be considered an EPIDEMIC

Why are the obsessions of young girls important?

Because their feelings are real even if the obsessions are not – until they drift away. Young girls NEED their fairytale ‘escapes’ MUCH MORE than older ones do because they have limited ways to cope with life’s crap (read the comments beneath these neverending, misogynistic tabloid assaults – this one is from January 2016). If you’ve never been forced to endure public high school in the US (or anywhere, probably); or been abused as a child (unfortunately, still a common occurrence) - then of course you can’t possibly relate.

How Did this Blog Change to
Tabloid & Paparazzi Reform

- Yeah, I have some really good reasons beyond
Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson and their Fans
(Although I’m pretty sure they are enough reason at this point.)

Why Do People Hate Bella Swan and Kristen Stewart?
Believe it or not, this is a very easy question to answer;
and NO it isn’t because she ‘cheated’.

TwiNewsflash: The concerning over-obsessions of young women was the ONLY REASON that Breaking Dawn was forgiven when it was published in 2008. The ONLY people who have defended this story for being written ‘just like it is’ because ‘Stephenie Meyer is a literary genius’ are her YOUNG (and young-at-heart) fans who were used by both the amateur author and her publisher because ‘they weren’t supposed to know any better’ about vampires.

And, these are the fans who get hit & hurt the most by world bullying. It is really crappy of SM and you older ladies to continue letting them believe what they believe about these books - while they ignorantly & arrogantly (in their over-obsessions) deal with all the hate surrounding Twilight that still exists in big, dynamic ways.

Email Excerpt: “Thank you for writing that wonderful blog.. it was heaven sent.. Please someone tell him (this is ‘why the cheating scandal started’, Aug 2012). He just texted me and said he told my mom.. and for me to get some help.. and bye.. please tell him… Everyone is doing this and it’s killing me.. but everyone acts like they don’t know what I’m talking about.. I don’t think I’ve ever needed anything so bad in all my life than for someone to tell him.. I know they are trying to drive me crazy.. and it’s starting to work.. thanks again, was truly a blessing I needed to read very much so.”

Another email excerpt that I hear all the time from all types of fans:
“…
I have tried speaking to my good friend about my obsession and, as with all of my friends,
doesn't like Twilight and totally judged me lol so your feedback means a lot.”

How to Soothe an Intense Twilight / Robsessed / Krisbian / Robsten Obsession

Anti-Twilight Fans could SEE what Stephenie Meyer didn’t MEAN to write;
and Erika didn’t MEAN to write her books ignorantly, either.
Adult women have 50 Shades of obsessive fog to get past before
they can possibly begin to think clearly about this subject.

Why does The Twilight Saga have so many anti-fans? Why are there hardly any male fans? How did Twilight’s infamous obsessions become over-obsessions? Why are so many older women more obsessed than younger ones? Why did the fandom fracture into several various fanbases that fight among themselves? How did we get 50 Shades of Grey out of all this commotion?

I recorded four wildly-ranting videos (this one is my favorite – calling SM out, ha!) over three years ago at the height of my own very unwanted Twilight over-obsession (It’s not like you can unwatch or unread something – or reclaim wasted time). At that point, I was really mad about ‘how I was obsessed’ with this pretty fairytale; and I was mad that Stephenie Meyer had ‘accidentally’ done this to so many other people before me - and didn’t correct any of the dysfunction in her books before she made them into movies.

I actually say this in the second video before I had even heard of 50 Shades of Grey... “It sounds to me like Stephenie has some sort of BDSM fetish, but I don’t even sort of want to think about that right now.” (Video #12 is where you will hear me say this.)

And yet, somehow 50 Shades of Grey (this post is what exactly is wrong with fifty shades) exists as Twilight Fanfiction; and is yet another dysfunctional worldwide ‘phenomenon’?! Do you have any idea how disturbing that is? Not only does it make my skin crawl – it’s just wrong.

There are real amateur literary reasons why Twilight messed with so many people’s heads – especially OLDER women; and we are the ones who get called ‘crazy’ for it - unless we manage to write another dysfunctional (XXX!) blockbuster based on all this negligence…

Did you know that Steph’s publisher didn’t want to publish Breaking Dawn? Did you know that New Moon & Eclipse were not supposed to be in between the 1st & last books? Do you ‘get’ that she didn’t mean to cause so many of her OLDER fans to see Edward Cullen the way they came to see him as Christian Grey? Do you understand that these are the reasons why the world has always &STILL bullies Twilight Fans, Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson because of her amateur writing mistakes?

Sick-in-the-head older women had absolutely no right to hijack the pretty fairytale of young girls via Fifty Shades of Grey; and they should care when their daughters are being bullied by the world over it, incessantly.

What’s Wrong with Twilight: Chapter One, First Sight?

The Condensed Version:
The Four Main Complaints of this Blog
against Stephenie Meyer and her ‘professional’ Publishers &
Production Franchise for RARE & irresponsible,
professionally-negligent publishing and movie production.

When the first Twilight movie was being made in 2008; the last book, Breaking Dawn had not been released, yet. Because of this, no one knew at that time that Stephenie Meyer was going to bomb her pretty fairytale into the ground until it was published a few months before the release of the first film.

Extreme chaos & debate surrounded Steph and The Twilight Saga at that time for the exact same reasons that surrounds 50 Shades of Grey - but somehow, she got through it (see side links)...

If 'Midnight Sun' had not been 'accidentally' leaked just prior to the first movie being rushed; AND Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson had not BOTH nailed their parts in that first movie - Twilight would have been history.

Stephenie Meyer could have written any 'ol ending for her infamously overly-obsessed fans (and really, that seems like what she did); and they would have lapped it up like honey (and they did – especially the ones who didn’t know any better, couldn’t see what was wrong – or didn’t care, because of fifty Shades of BEDWARD!!

The entire world has done nothing but treat Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson AND their emotionally-invested fans like sh*t, since - and the infighting among Twilight's divided and HATEFUL fanbases is ongoing.

Despite all this, 'feminists' have embraced the latest and greatest dysfunctional character, Christian Grey/Edward Cullen/Prince Charming...

Popular Email Question: Why does Stephenie Meyer need to apologize? Because the world can’t heal from the wounds she has inflicted on it if she doesn’t acknowledge her amateur mistakes and apologize for them. All she has done from the beginning of her controversies is metaphorically flip off her critics. While normally that is exactly what you are supposed to do… In this case, with all the professional exceptions that were made while The Twilight Saga was being published; the amateur author (AND the publisher AND production franchise) really needed to be listening to fans. It is NOT NORMAL for roughly half of your fanbase (much less, the world!) to become so angry with you regarding a casual creative expression.

I am just using this true stuff about SM’s amateur writing to grab your attention – and boy does it grab some of you, ha! Now if we could just get past that part of things… I really could care less about Stephenie Meyer’s or EL James’ many ignorant and irresponsible amateur literary mistakes that caused all this chaos. Believe it or not, I have stuck up for Stephenie Meyer so many times over this issue, it’s ridiculous.

Creative ‘Freedom of Speech’ is DIFFERENT than the illegal type of ‘Freedom of Speech’ that tabloids & paparazzi hide behind.

Freedom of Speech and Freedom of the Press were meant to create transparency in order to protect the truth about absolutely everything - not provide a way for mean, greedy tabloid liars to make money off of young (and young-at-heart) fans who are practically defenseless against emotional tabloid & paparazzi assaults (not to mention how even more defenseless Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson are against them)…

This blog now has but one mission: Tabloid & Paparazzi Reform for all celebrities past & present (Princess Diana, anyone?) and it has been that since July 25, 2012 – the day after the infamous cheating scandal. Oh yeah, I’ve been on their stinky tails from the beginning. It hasn’t even been SORT of fun! I really hope we can all manage to put aside our differences and unite to stick it to them, someday. Tabloids & papz so deserve it!!

I don’t care how long it takes. Aside from having really good reasons other than Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson to be concerned for celebrity rights; we fans – no matter which side of the ring we fight on – are getting awfully tired of being manipulated and watching our favorite celebrities being harassed. So many of you do not ‘get’ this; but Robert Pattinson is being attacked and/or used as much as Kristen Stewart in these kinds of stories – no matter ‘how nice’ they seem to be slanted toward him, at times. It is just another way to pour salt on the wounds of their fans by being misogynistic toward both them and Kristen at the same time – using Robert and her anti-fans against their will!!

This is because the world has no respect for Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson or Twilight fans – any version of them; BECAUSE of Stephenie Meyer’s offensive & insulting amateur writing (another reason why she needs to apologize). To the rest of the world, we’re all simply hysterical to bully; just another section of the populace to be targeted and made fun of for profits – via outright assaults and numerous lie upon lie that continues

Boycott all online and print tabloids until they volunteer to reform.

bella

bella

Why Do So Many People Hate Kristen Stewart and/or Bella Swan?
or Why/How did so many of Stephenie Meyer’s OLDER fans become so
‘accidentally’ overly-obsessed with the character of Edward Cullen?
Shortest and most anti-fan & fan-variation-inclusive version that I have written, yet!!
Read it only if you dare… and only if you can be HONEST. ;)

Whatever Happened to the ‘Anti-Twilight Army’
from 2008-2009; and WHY don’t you see their support on this blog?

Stephenie Meyer Knows Why Gossip Rags & Paparazzi won’t leave
Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart (or her beloved fans) alone.

That’s why she deserves this blog; and it is why it will not be deleted until either
Steph, her professional cronies and/or her fans do something to fix the situation:

‘They took all of my heat, which I feel bad about,' Stephenie
tells The Times Magazine. ‘If they had the choice, I've no idea if

they'd even do Twilight again. I just don't know.
I think this has all come at a heavy price.'

Ya think, Steph?!!

Robert Pattinson’s Career-Hindering Rover Smear
Based on the Whole Wide World’s Twilight Saga Hate

This movie FLOPPED amidst RARE (for him) GLOWING reviews from movie critics at
film festivals who compared his performance to Leo DiCaprio’s Oscar-Nominated
performance in ‘What’s Eating Gilbert Grape’. Yeah, it’s a HUGE deal!!
This movie would not have tanked without way too much ‘help’ from
tabloid manipulation of Twilight’s huge numbers of anti-fans.

Why the Public Shaming of Kristen Stewart MATTERS to Young Girls
by Nico Lang on Huffington Post

Here’s a splash from Nico’s article: "Trampire:" Why the Public Slut Shaming of Kristen Stewart Matters for Young Women “I don't care if Kristen Stewart and Rupert Sanders did it in a car, in a bar, in a house or with a mouse. But while I might not be concerned for K-Stew, I am concerned for my younger stepsister who idolizes and worships her....” And this is an update from Nico on Salon: Racist 'Twilight' fans won't stop harassing Robert Pattinson's girlfriend, FKA Twigs

Yeah, Twilight’s still-many hateful and overly-obsessed
fans managed to p*ss all over the debut of the proclaimed

Celebrity Rookie of the Year 2014

Aren’t we sweet?

COMMENTS from the WORLD

RobnKris

RobnKris

I have had some really good compliments on my corrective-rewrite of The Twilight Saga from both literary experts and Twilight Fans. It is only a summary, with just the first chapter written as complete to give it the foundation that it should have had (takes 2-3 hours for me to read through it all).

Here is one positive review (sorry, have to scroll down to the comments on this post after the click to read): “I have so very many things to say where to start..... Firstly I love your blog and the rewrite, I felt like you have given the characters depth and a new life. If I were a judge I would totally give you custody! … I am even letting my daughter read it with me because its a good story that is appropriate for kids to read and she LOVES LOVES LOVES IT! Just as much as I do! I think what you have written is loving and responsible to the characters and fans, it is well though out, relevant, and…”

BELIEVE me when I say, I would have MUCH RATHER have LOVED Stephenie Meyer's original Twilight Saga all the way to the bittersweet end. There are not many people on this planet who would have been more PROUD and applauding the loudest for a woman (amateur or not) to have written such a hailed TwiMasterpiece - if Stephenie Meyer had actually done that instead of the embarrassing, barely-edited rough-draft that we got.

This corrective re-write summary is actually very forgiving in many places - at least, where Steph is concerned. I'm sure my anger toward these IRRESPONSIBLE "professional" companies will continue to burn for much longer.

I gave your beautiful fairytale a hell of a shot, sinking MONTHS of my time JUST into researching this subject. (Not counting the months before that when you all had me convinced that it was a WORTHY diversion, ha!)

Between these blogs and the rewrite I have probably written as much as either Steph or Erika have; and I certainly put a lot more thought and creativity (not to mention, knowledge) into it. Just insert either author’s purple prose where applicable while you’re reading, since I didn’t write any – and it is darn near perfect, ha! ;)

As such, you can expect my version of The Twilight Saga to not be XXX. I rewrote Twilight by sticking to the storyline; but I made it believable – really, that was possible. In fact, now that Twilight can be shown as a believable story - it is no longer necessary for Anti-Twilight peeps to continue bullying Twilight Fans just because SM didn’t ‘get’ why she needed to make it believable.

WHY did I take the time to flesh out the character of Bella Swan and Twilight’s vampire (and wolf) storylines? BECAUSE VERY FEW OF YOU OLDER LADIES GIVES A SHIT ABOUT HER (and more importantly, the real Human girl, Kristen Stewart and her millions of young fans) - or ANY of the other Twilight characters, for that matter!

It's EDWARD this and EDWARD that (and sometimes Jacob) - Stephenie BARELY INTRODUCED you to her before you all got hooked on this crap. That's why you can pass this story off, you don't care... You're obsessed about Edward Cullen and could care less about any other character. IF this story had been published for you perverted older brats- Yeah, it would maybe be Ok!

I am NOT talking about you young girls if you're in here reading this - I've heard you talk about Bella and all the other characters. I KNOW you both know and love them, dearly. BUT, those of you who WERE NOT debunked by this storyline (no matter what your age was) SEE these characters differently than so many MORE older ladies do!

Believe it or NOT - Stephenie Meyer and the rest of these women out here (I don't care HOW many of them there are against my ONE voice) are BEING BAD, LoL!

IF we were in college... And the instructor had just given us an assignment to write the first chapter for a novel. IF Stephenie Meyer was a college literary student (which she has been - in FACT, she graduated!); she would probably NOT have gotten an "A" on the first chapter of Twilight - I seriously doubt. I wish a few good English teachers who haven't read the books yet would go through it and grade it - just so we would know, for sure.

I'm not saying that *my* version is a literary marvel - but I have a really good excuse. I have NEVER taken a college writing course much less graduated with a literary degree. If this isn't perfect... Yeah, I know. :)

We make our children do their homework - and dot their "I's" and cross their "T's" - but, WHY didn't this grown adult woman have to?!

I'm going to make you all CARE about Bella and her life, as well as every other character surrounding her - INCLUDING EDWARD - who, it seems to me; you've all just taken under the covers with you to have your way with him like Stephenie Meyer was no doubt doing when she WROTE this stupid saga so ignorantly and irresponsibly...

So when it really comes down to it... YOU robsessed ‘fans’ DON'T even care about Robert Pattinson/Edward Cullen, just your sick little "escape"!

The young adult audience that this story was TARGETED FOR - deserved a whole hell of alot better than what they got. THAT is why I rewrote The Twilight Saga... For ALL THOSE former fans who were debunked by Breaking Dawn after it was published; and then abandoned by the arrogant amateur author afterwards.

We KNEW better... and we were EXPECTING better.

AND it IS ALSO for the rest of you... I DARE you; I quadroople-doople DARE you - READ this and tell me you don't care a lot more about Bella at the end of this Chapter One: First Sight rewrite than you did at the end of Stephenie's first one.

You can think whatever you want to about me... But with this, the two things you CAN'T say about me are that *I* don't LOVE this pretty fairytale OR this fanbase.

Yeah, you be the judge – please.

table

This is a Summary List of Links for this Blog – More Links Galore Within Them!!

Most Popular Keyword Searches
into this blog

The TwiSmears

The Twilight Saga

Stephenie Meyer

The Fanbases


Why the ‘Cheating’ Scandal Started; Telling on My Big TwiSisters (Aug 2012, 1 mo. After)

Nothing but LOVE for
our Twilight Character
Actors & Actresses
- THANK YOU!

An Anti-Twilight Fan's Dream Talk with SM

Twihards - We Movie Fans
Deserve a Discussion


July 2012 'Cheating' Scandal

What actually happened
to Kristen Stewart with Rupert Sanders that day? Why did robsten really break up?

Why is Twilight so Addictive? How Did it Inspire 50 Shades of Grey?

Questions for Steph:
Twilight, a Post-Mortem

Defining Twilight's
Various Fanbases
…In which I actually
stick up for
Stephenie Meyer, OMG!


Additional & Extended Scandal Timelines

- WAY more info than you want; but some peeps just can’t get enough. ;)

What's Wrong with Twilight Chapter
One: First Sight
?

1st Original Blog Post
- How Can You See
Steph's Sexual Fantasy
Glaring thru Twilight
?


Letter to My Little Twilight Sisters – Why I Keep Picking on Twilight.

Pre-Cheating Scandal Smears that have been going on since 2008.

Twilight: Breaking Dawn Parts 1 & 2 Movie Reviews
- easiest to see literary dysfunctions


Ramifications of Wrong Writing in the Case of Twilight Addictions
Whatever happened to the Anti-Twilight Army?


Letter to My Big Twilight Sisters – Are You SURE Breaking Dawn is Okay?


Fan & Anti-Fan Hate-Debate; December 2014
- Fans reveal how harmful tabloids have been via online article comments.


Official Reasoning for
Every Little Thing
Wrong with Twilight


The Most Common Keyword Searches into these blogs
:
HELP with a Twilight Obsession; Immortalicum & ‘Demonic Messages’?!


Why are so Many OLDER
Fans so sick
?


What Have Heartbroken Fans Been Saying
Since the Scandal in July 2012?


What EXACTLY is Wrong with Stephenie Meyer’s Sparkling ‘Vampires’?
- Written BEFORE I watched her movies.


What a JOKE!
Twilight is Coming to Facebook Because ‘the voices of women are important to Steph’!!


What Does Robert Pattinson Think About His OLDER ‘robsessed’ Twihard & Anti-Twilight ‘Fans’, BOTH?

What Have Mean Fans Been Saying Since the Scandal in July 2012?

YouTube Video Collection
'What's Wrong with The Twilight Saga'
?


Final Judgment of
The Twilight Saga
Or, Why I HATE (omg!) SM and Her ARMY of Desperate Housewives – et all TwiJerks & Anti-TwiJerks Over 30.


Help Easing a Stubborn
Twilight and/or Robsten
Obsession

Robert Pattinson's Post-Scandal Career Hindering Rover Smear
- Based on the Wide World’s Twilight Hate

Fanfiction Corrective Rewrite Summary (2+ hours) Edward Cullen
Explains His Pretty
Vampire Sparkles
,
believable ending
and MORE!


Let’s Talk About ‘Midnight Sun’
and how Steph Could POSSIBLY Make Her Huge Literary Failure up to The World.

Who am I?

11/29/11

Reading Twilight 1 - First Sight

Actual Date of Original Post: 4/17/12

I'm reading this on Kindle, so I don't have page numbers - sorry. I'm going to assume that most of you have read the books multiple times however; so if I keep things together within each chapter, most of you will probably still know what's going on and "where I'm at" within the story. I'm just reading and inserting my thoughts as I go, and I AM trying to keep in mind that I have a heated slant toward this stuff - so I'm trying to be fair...
------------------------------------------

Preface:
When life offers you a dream so far beyond any of your expectations, it’s not reasonable to grieve when it comes to an end.
Really – Dang, Edward better be GOOD! I’m not sure how I feel about this blurb, yet – I think I need to finish the whole story before I can form a complete opinion. But I AM wondering what the heck she means by this (yeah, I wondered about the variation of this in the movie at the time, too).

1) First Sight

It was to Forks that I now exiled myself – an action that I took with great horror (really, horror?). I detested Forks. …I’d already said my goodbyes to the Sun.
Bella doesn’t know Forks well enough to detest it as much as she does, yet - as I've said in my introduction to this reading adventure. BTW, it ISN’T a very good sacrifice if you really feel as bad as Bella seems to when you sacrifice something like this for someone else that you love. Bella should be taking things in stride and feeling good about her decision, even if she is nervous about her new life. But, she’s obviously miserable. That's not sacrificing - that's being passive-aggressive because she is resenting the "sacrifice" she is making; and she's trying to make us all feel sympathetic about her predicament by talking up this sacrifice of hers to us like this.

Charlie gave me an awkward, one-armed hug when I stumbled my way off the plane… automatically caught and steadied me. “You haven’t changed much.”
I didn’t realize Bella’s clumsiness started THIS bad ASAP in the book, sheesh! When people would say that Bella is written to be such an unbelievable klutz – I assumed they were exaggerating, ha!

…I wasn’t allowed to call him Charlie to his face. Again, WHY doesn't Charlie deserve to be called "Dad"? THIS is a guy who deserves it whether he was physically present or not in her life up to this point. He doesn't seem like an absentee Dad. If he was, then Stephenie should have written the story that way. Being a Dad who does not live with you is DIFFERENT from being a Dad who is not interested in you or your life. Charlie seems like the kind of Dad who would call and send you more than a measly $5 on your birthdays.

That would explain why I didn’t remember him (Billy Black). I do a good job of blocking painful, unnecessary things from my memory.
I REALLY doubt going fishing with her Father and Billy – and probably Jacob – was a memory SO painful to be forgotten.

No need to add that my being happy in Forks is an impossibility. He (Charlie) didn’t need to suffer along with me. This is another very passive-aggressive statement. She's trying to give us the impression of how selfless she is by not "making" her Father suffer through this torture along with her...

Talking about her new/old truck… it was one of those solid iron AFFAIRS (what is the connotation of this word? I’m sure it doesn’t belong here) that never gets damaged. AND, doesn't this sound like something an older WOMAN would say?

After Bella arrives at Charlie’s place, she talks about putting her stuff away and saving the “crying jag” for bedtime, later. You know, Bella doesn’t seem to me to be the type of girl to bawl over something like this. She’s supposed to be 17ish, right? She’s not going to be having a “crying jag” over this – maybe a few scared, lonely tears – but not a “jag” (what the hell is a “jag”, anyway? Good thing we’re all good at guessing, ha!)

I’m noticing how Bella is going on and on about how pale she is and how she will never fit in because she looks so unusual and she acts/thinks so oddly – really? Being pale and/or extra-white is NOT unusual NOR is it a telling sign that your fate is to become a Vampire, someday… I’m really hoping this isn’t supposed to be some sort of “clue” regarding why Edward eventually becomes so attracted to Bella. I know, I’m thinking ahead too far – but it seems to me that she is trying to be conspicuous about this point.

Is it my imagination, or does Bella go on and on about the specifics of her personality – she doesn’t fit in anywhere, she doesn’t think or act like anyone else – ever, she’s so pale that she sticks out, etc. These things should be being SHOWN through the story – not being said & promoted by Bella, herself. It’s like she’s trying to convince us all that she’s both cool and uncool at the same time – she’s giving us her own opinion of herself, over and over and over again. THAT’S NOT HOW YOU PORTRAY A CHARACTER’S PERSONALITY, you SHOW character’s personalities via their words & actions, etc. Narrative explanations should be at a minimum.

Plants grew everywhere in pots as if there wasn’t enough greenery outside. WHAT does Bella have against greenery and/or plants, ha! I mean, I’ve lived in Arizona & California, too – and the Sun is really very very nice; but jeez, she just seems to be a little “too” on the anti-greenery side. What ELSE doesn’t she like? We get this already, she hates Forks because it’s lush and green, and she’s used to things being brown and dry – Ok, lets move on!

As Bella is nervously thinking about walking into school on her first day… No one was going to bite me. Ahhhh... TeeHee… we ARE reading a Vampire story after all, aren’t we? THIS is a definitive “fanfiction” line, and as cute as it is – I seriously DOUBT it is one that a professional editor would have left in. Maybe, it IS cute in a quirky kind of way, lol!

I took the slip up to the teacher, a tall, balding man whose desk had a nameplate identifying him as Mr. Mason. (Ok, I know that Edward’s original last name is “Mason”… THIS name thrown in here, while it IS a perfectly normal sounding name for a teacher or anyone; seems like Stephenie just thought up some bland-teacher-name on the spot and then never went back and changed it after she decided that it would make a good last name for Edward, too. No, it’s not that big of a deal… But unrelated, duplicate names like this are strange in a story that you’re reading. It isn’t very professional.

Definitely over-helpful… Gosh, Eric is a MEAN boy!

It looked like clouds and a sense of humor didn’t mix. A few months of this and I’d forget how to use sarcasm. THIS is NOT a line that a teenager would normally think or say. It IS, however, a line that you might hear an over 30-something woman say! I’m just saying…

I KNOW that Bella is supposed to act older than she is... But until Stephenie's writing convinces me that she ACTUALLY WROTE it that way on purpose instead of accidentally leaving herself in here and then trying to cover her tracks with that excuse - lines like these will stick out.

Bella should maybe ACT older, but she should STILL have the voice and use the words of a teenager.

We sat at the end of a full table with several of her friends, who (shouldn't this be "whom"? I get who & whom mixed up. I'm terrible at grammar too, Stephenie, ha!) she introduced to me. I forgot all their names as soon as she spoke them. They seemed to be impressed by her bravery in speaking to me. (Does Bella not seem really really full of herself, or what? For someone who is supposed to be so observant and smart, she’s SO uninterested that she doesn’t remember any of their names?)

“Apparently none of the girls here are good-looking enough for him.” She sniffed, a clear case of sour grapes… This is another line that is NOT in line with a teenager’s thoughts – it’s an older woman’s who is familiar with this saying.

So, this is really starting to irritate me… Bella can’t remember any of the people’s names she just met; BUT she is honed in on the details of Edward’s reactions (whom she has just became aware of) in the lunchroom to the extent that she notices the most unusually-detailed expressions on his face and gives them her supposedly-teenage interpretations. She doesn’t talk OR think like a teenager!

When she enters the classroom after lunch, Bella “recognized Edward Cullen by his unusual hair” – really?! She couldn’t recognize him by his FACE at that point?

I watched him SURREPTITIOUSLY – I had to look this word up. I’ve never heard of it; and I’m willing to bet that most young adults have never heard of it much less used it OR thought it! It means “secretively” – what was wrong with using THAT word, Stephenie – or clandestine or stealthy? You know, a word that we’re FAMILIAR with.

“Was that the boy I sat next to in Biology?” I asked ARTLESSLY. Hmmm...

He (Mike) was friendly and clearly admiring.

Forks was literally my personal hell on Earth.

Getting back into her truck at the end of the first day of school… It seemed like a haven, already the closest thing to home I had in this damp green hole.
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At the end of this first chapter, I’m not even sort of identifying with Bella, yet… Her character seems erratic and all of her “problems” seem forced - like she’s making them up and making them into a big deal as she goes. And, she keeps doing things like telling us she's shy - but she doesn't talk or think like she's shy. She's actually very forward and judgmental in her descriptions.

You know what this story reminds me of so far? It DOES seem like the beginnings of a really good story – BUT, it also seems like it is a story that is still a little rough in the draft. Like, it needed more time to be developed. I am definitely getting the impression that the character of Bella is seriously underdeveloped.

It feels like our/the readers thoughts are being “herded” – I don’t really know how to explain it. Like Stephenie is trying to control where she wants our thoughts to go, instead of just letting the story take us to the conclusions she’s trying to get us to. It’s weird…


If I didn't know any better, I'd say that Stephenie hadn't "found Bella's voice", yet. I've read where she says that Bella & Edward's conversations were pretty incessant in her head for awhile - but interactive conversations are not personalities. A character's "voice" needs both or their words are "just words" without much intent or meaning behind them. Bella's character should have been pretty solidified for us by the end of this first chapter.

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BTW, this poll used to contain 508 votes at one point in time. I'm not sure what has happened with losing votes - either Twihards who originally voted realized their votes were incriminating their beloved goddess/amateur author; OR all these accounts have simply been closed over the course of four months for whatever reasons. Doesn't matter, I've got the original 'important' numbers recorded within these posts.

Taking Our Temperature... How are YOU feeling, Twihards? Choose multiple answers as they apply.