Literary Failure, The Twilight Saga: A Post Mortem
Yes, I've sent this to her - not expecting her to read or reply.
There are LOTS of additional links at the bottom
past all the incriminating photos - don't miss them.
Yes, I've sent this to her - not expecting her to read or reply.
There are LOTS of additional links at the bottom
past all the incriminating photos - don't miss them.
Extra Credit: Do you know why Vampires originally had to sleep in the ground or in a coffin or mausoleum during the day?
Answer: They were inanimate during the day because they are DEAD Human bodies. They 'rose' when the night came on because they are supposed to be 'evil' creatures of the night - JUST the night.
However, that is kind of gross and doesn't make Edward Cullen very available, does it? That's Okay, it didn't work for Buffy's 'Angel' & 'Spike', either.
All Stephenie Meyer really needed to do was 1) eliminate her 'frozen' idea of them; 2) and venom; EXPLAIN Edward's pretty vampire sparkles; and have them drinking REAL Human blood - and VOILA! Suddenly Vampires!! ;)
2) The normal responses of the characters are replaced in order to force the storyline. For example, Carlisle is an EXPERT in both Human & Vampire Physiology & Biology, etc (PLUS, he is a sexually active Vamp himself who should know how his stuff works!); and yet, it does not occur to him to warn Edward to take some precautions.
It never EVEN crosses Edward's mind - as cautious as he is, and as much as he in love with his precious Bella - DESPITE that he mentions he had heard of mutant hybrid babies after Bella gets pregnant. Do you REALLY THINK Edward wouldn't have thought of that?
He would have AT LEAST been worried about his "venomous load" possibly being harmful to Bella! Wouldn't he at least have asked Carlisle about it? He asked them ALL about sex, in general. AND, doesn't Edward have his OWN MEDICAL DEGREES to have possibly thought this up on his own?! (And really - do you even NEED a medical degree to think of that?)
Even BELLA! Wouldn't she maybe ask a question - maybe jokingly, "I can't get pregnant, can I?" And WHAT about Bella's MOM bringing up the subject to her? It is IMPOSSIBLE for them to go on this Honeymoon without someone thinking about birth-control!
3) Stephenie Meyer uses "tricks" to make people believe that she went out of her way to create this beautiful fairytale. For example, the ending chapters when all kinds of new characters are introduced in order to conveniently explain everything - including the impossible Vampire baby. Just because she created a few more hybrids somewhere else doesn't make their existence any more believable - and neither does the extra-gory birth!
4) The excuses that are provided for the birth of Renesmee don't make sense EVEN from the author's own rules she set up for her made-up world. She says in the beginning of Breaking Dawn that female Vampires can't procreate because their bodies are FROZEN and they can't change. It would be THE SAME for male Vampires - there is NO REASON for their bodies to work any differently! Edward's Vampire body is not capable of producing "immortalicum".
Telling us in the beginning that female Vampires can't change/reproduce - but NOT MENTIONING that things are different with male Vampires - is just a deceptive trick, not an ingenious plot twist! Edward would need access to his OWN BLOOD & HUMAN CHROMOSOMES; and his body would need to be able to PROCESS it into semen in order for him to impregnate Bella. The Cullens can't EVEN FLIP TEARS!
According to Stephenie Meyer, the Human body is frozen and body fluids are replaced with venom when they are changed into Vampires - she did NOT provide a believable way for this hybrid baby to be conceived. AND, Her "Incubus" slant is an even less believable trick.
An Incubus is a completely different kind of mythical creature than a Vampire, and one that NEEDS SEX to survive. There is NO such thing as a virgin Incubus! Edward would have HAD to be sexually-active throughout his life in order to still be alive when he met Bella!
IF Stephenie Meyer was trying to combine The Cullens into being some sort of Vampire/Incubus hybrid - then YEAH, that MIGHT have worked - but ONLY IF she had actually DONE that. And in that case, she would have REALLY needed to explain that thoroughly and believably (like, how would The Cullens not know that they are related to Incubus BEFORE this miracle took place, and HOW are they related, etc.) - which would have required research.The fact that the World has excused this woman from having to utilize one of the most basic forms of literary disciplines - RESEARCH - is one of the MOST OUTRAGEOUS THINGS to us estranged Twilight fans.
 |
| I can't possibly back Tech up on this point, enough. There REALLY IS much about 'Vampire babies' up on Fanfiction.net LONG BEFORE Twilight came along. Yeah, we women have been trying to find ways to make them believably pro-create with us since Interview with the Vampire - but I think Buffy did the most damage, ha! And yes, before Breaking Dawn came out, there were MANY fans who were wishing it could happen, but knowing it couldn't. THESE fans NEEDED the baby plot within BD to be BELIEVABLE. |
- 8/23/13 -
of 'Why Twilight is so Addictive' to
Read as a book or Watch as a movie
especially for OLDER Twihards
(but not necessarily just them)
CLICK HERE
for The Twilight Saga Story Reviewed & Critiqued Along
with the Twihard Fanfiction Rewrite Summary,
"The Twilight Saga: ReVAMPED & ReWOLFED"!
An Estranged Twihard Fan Movie Review of
Twilight: Breaking Dawn Parts 1 & 2
and the most clear case, yet of
'what's wrong with Twilight'.
Twilight: Breaking Dawn Parts 1 & 2
and the most clear case, yet of
'what's wrong with Twilight'.
CLICK HERE
for The Twilight Saga Story Reviewed & Critiqued Along
with the Twihard Fanfiction Rewrite Summary,
"The Twilight Saga: ReVAMPED & ReWOLFED"!
I may confuse you at times, because I will seem to do almost as much "sticking-up" for Stephenie Meyer as I do at ripping her writing to shreds. It's called "being honest". I know, it's a RARE thing. Stephenie's writing has a way of infuriating people to the point that she gets all kinds of barbs thrown her way - some of which IS misplaced. I'll set ALOT of things straight surrounding The Twilight Saga in here - not just HER stuff in the books.
In rewriting the summary of this saga, I also utilized ALOT of really good ideas I've read from other estranged Twilight fans from around the web. For instance, someone suggested that Bella never mentions any friends from Phoenix, so I've added a friend for Bella in this rewrite. Meredith is actually turning out to be alot more useful than I originally intended her to be - she was just supposed to help flesh out Bella's background, but she's coming in handy in New Moon, too.
So, aside from acknowledging the heavy influence of Stephenie Meyer's pretty story as *I* know it up to this point - I am ALSO including some of their really good ideas. So technically speaking - in so many ways - this is not just *my* revamped rewrite. :>
In rewriting the summary of this saga, I also utilized ALOT of really good ideas I've read from other estranged Twilight fans from around the web. For instance, someone suggested that Bella never mentions any friends from Phoenix, so I've added a friend for Bella in this rewrite. Meredith is actually turning out to be alot more useful than I originally intended her to be - she was just supposed to help flesh out Bella's background, but she's coming in handy in New Moon, too.
So, aside from acknowledging the heavy influence of Stephenie Meyer's pretty story as *I* know it up to this point - I am ALSO including some of their really good ideas. So technically speaking - in so many ways - this is not just *my* revamped rewrite. :>
My FINAL JUDGMENT of The Twilight Saga
or
Why I HATE Stephenie Meyer and her ARMIES of MEAN
TwiJerks & ANTI-TwiJerks She Accidentally Created
or
Why I HATE Stephenie Meyer and her ARMIES of MEAN
TwiJerks & ANTI-TwiJerks She Accidentally Created
TWILIGHT RANT of the WEEK!
Disclaimer: I used to change these every week, but I've finally settled on Tprinces arguments. While the general message of these videos is the focus of this blog; the details surrounding each person's every opinion are NOT necessarily in accordance with the author of this blog or estranged Twihards, in general. Also, MANY ex-Twihards are passionate about this subject. This video contains explicit language. (This is the entire YouTube video collection I've put together - it could be much longer. The first review is the most relatable for us all, I think. She is an original book reader just returning from watching Twilight: BDp1 and is reviewing it. She is TRYING to be nice.)
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