Actual Post Date: 4/20/12
My first LOL - "Does he mean YOU?" Jessica asked with insulting astonishment in her voice. I can just hear her saying this, ha!
Bella is still a little dry, but she is starting to go on more about her preoccupation with Edward; so it is more believable, now. I'm thinking that Stephenie should have had this kind of preoccupation going through Bella's mind earlier than this - and she talks like she does before now, she just doesn't go into describing it like she is starting to. In my mind, Bella is JUST NOW starting to become obsessed with Edward.
Ok, Edward has just managed to lure Bella over to a private table in the cafeteria for lunch; and NOW he is telling her that she really should stay away from him and that he isn't a good friend for her. I think this would seem more feasible if Edward were actually a teenager - but, he's a century-old vampire, he would have more "umph" to his decisions & actions. I don't think he would be THIS wishy-washy about things (ESPECIALLY if he's supposed to be a Vampire - their personalities are far more two-dimensional than this (because they have no souls to make them dynamic in the same way Humans are. I know, it's a tricky, subtle thing that is hard to differentiate - especially when you know nothing about Vampires.).
It seems to me that she wrote Edward as a Human, gave him a Human personality, and then added sparkles and told us all he was a "really cool, new type of Vampire I creatively thought up" - whatever.) IF he had really decided that he was giving up and just going to "let the chips fall where they may" - he would have been more over his decision by now. It took him THIS long to make this decision (several weeks, in the book) and he OVER-THINKS everything.
This exchange just seems "off" to me - in fact, in my opinion, it isn't HOT enough. THIS should be where Edward would start to seduce Bella (if anything, he would be struggling with NOT INSTINCTIVELY trying to seduce her; and maybe we would be seeing that in this scene) - IF he were a real Vampire.
Vampires like to play with their prey - like cats like to play with mice - before they eat them. And while Edward is obviously not into the idea of having Bella as a meal because he is so interested in why she smells so damn good and can't read her mind - He is STILL a hunter/predator and he is NOT in LOVE with her, yet. He would be "playing" with her in roughly the same way until he decides for SURE that he isn't going to have her for a meal. He hasn't decided that, yet - he's still trying desperately to resist her during all of this, and VERY unsure of himself that he CAN.
In fact, BELLA isn't in love with him yet, either! At this point in the story, these two people are inexplicably PHYSICALLY attracted to each other - which is why they can't stay away from each other; and Edward may be considering her as more than "just an incredibly delicious meal to resist" at this point; but his reasons AREN'T embedded in LOVE, yet. NOT even from Midnight Sun's perspective... although this scene is again far more fleshed out and far sweeter in Midnight Sun because you can see Edward's perspective - he's still just really really curious about Bella and almost insane with LUST over her scent and the fact that he can't read her mind, etc - and admittedly, he seems to have a soft spot for her because he can read everyone's mind surrounding her, and her conversations & actions are driving him crazy - but, I didn't get the impression that he was in LOVE with her at this point, yet. How could he be, they are just now beginning to have complete conversations.
I was obviously very forgiving back then in my opinions of Midnight Sun - because it was a GOOD rough draft, and I ASSUMED Twilight would be as cool. I'm not nearly so forgiving now that I know how badly you screwed up our favorite characters, Stephenie. Because, once you share them with the world - they are NO LONGER "JUST YOUR" characters - or at least, they SHOULDN'T be!
"So, in plain English, are we friends now?"
"Friends...," he mused, dubious.
"Or not," I muttered.
He grinned. "Well, we can try, I suppose. (WHY else would he have invited her over to the table?) But I'm warning you now that I'm not a good friend for you." Behind his smile, the warning was real.
"You say that a lot," I noted, trying to ignore the sudden trembling in my stomach and keep my voice even.
"Yes, because you're not listening to me. (Was he expecting her to NOT come over to the table?) I'm still waiting for you to believe it. If you're smart, you'll avoid me."
"I think you've made your opinion on the subject of my intellect clear, too" My eyes narrowed. You can sure see why this scene was altered in the movie - kudos to the screenwriter, ha!
Now they are talking about how "Bella is trying to figure out what he is" and Edward is frustrated about it... I thought this was weird in the movies and Midnight Sun, too (and, I'm sorry, I guess I'm not going to get around reviewing this book - at times, at least - from a traditional Vampire Lore perspective, BUT this isn't necessarily just about that). Edward - with ALL the thinking he has done about this - hasn't done HARDLY ANY thinking about "what he will tell Bella about himself" or "what will say if she figures out what he is", etc.
Being the kind of guy that he is, I would have expected him to have at least a temporary explanation of sorts worked out - until he could get further into the relationship. Even if "what he had come up with" didn't work out because Bella could see right through it (that might have been a funny exchange); he would/should have had something prepared to say to her - even if it was to politely put her off about it temporarily, again.
First - ALOT of "make-believe" Humans know about Vampires, they just don't live and walk among them to the point that everyday people are aware of them; and they keep themselves a secret for a reason (just ask Aro, ha!). So, I would think Edward would have resolved within himself that he would poke at her a bit to see if Bella was trustworthy enough to keep a secret - and hadn't she already done so by keeping his secret surrounding how he saved her in the van accident? Maybe he wouldn't say anything to her YET - but someone as anal as he is about details would have at LEAST put SOME thought into it.
IF he had really made the decision to get to know this girl; he would have KNOWN that he couldn't keep the fact that he is a Vampire from her for very long. AND on top of all that... If things are as electrified between them as Stephenie is trying to make us believe - Bella is going to NEED an explanation at some point surrounding WHY she feels this inexplicably PHYSICAL draw towards Edward.
What Bella is feeling is again not being explained NEARLY to the degree that it should be. Midnight Sun isn't written like this, even though it is also written in first person from Edward's perspective (jeez, maybe I'm remembering it wrong - maybe I should reread it, lol). His thoughts and "what is happening in the story" are FAR more explained.
I'm actually starting to feel worse and worse for Bella. She should have been SO much MORE than what she is written in here. And really - we all have NO other choice but to insert ourselves into her, do we? It's a very automatic thing. You've seen me give this book a relatively scathing review so far - but some of their conversation exchanges are really starting to strike me, in places. I'm expecting some major spikage ahead. But honestly, *I* didn't want to be reading a story about *me* - I was really hoping for Bella's story.
I would think that there are literary parameters surrounding identifying addictive character sketches for young adults - simply because many of them are so (endearingly!) impressionable. Maybe there is no such thing, maybe I believe something about the publishing world that does not exist. Maybe we've all just relied on their professional integrity up until now.
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I'll finish this later... Sorry, this is probably going to be a slow reading process for me. :)
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For someone who is shy, Bella still seems a little too direct - too candid is maybe a better word. A shy person wouldn't be so inclined to "blurt out what's on her mind" as easily as she has Bella doing in here - although, I can believe by this point; Bella MIGHT be having a hard time not telling Edward every little thing simply because he is supposedly "dazzling" her in the midst of their conversations. But it doesn't necessarily seem like something that would be normal for her - plus, she's not talking like she's very dazzled.
He chuckled. "What are your theories?"
I blushed. I had been vacillating during the last month between Bruce Wayne and Peter Parker. There was no way I was going to own up to that.
"Won't you tell me?" he asked, tilting his head to one side with a shockingly tempting smile.
I shook my head. "Too embarrassing."
"That's really frustrating, you know," he complained.
"No," I disagreed quickly, my eyes narrowing, "I can't imagine why that would be frustrating at all - just because someone refuses to tell you what they're thinking, even if all the while they're making cryptic little remarks specifically designed to keep you up at night wondering what they could possibly mean... now, why would that be frustrating?"
He grimaced.
"Or better," I continued, the pent-up annoyance flowing freely now, "say that person also did a wide range of bizarre things - from saving your life under impossible circumstances one day to treating you like a pariah the next, and he never explained any of that, either even after he promised. That, also, would be very non-frustrating."
"You've got a bit of a temper, don't you?"
"I don't like double standards."
We stared at each other, unsmiling.This just does not seem like a shy girl who is having this conversation.
Ha - Bella suddenly turns into a little flirt. Stephenie has yet to do much describing of Bella's actions; but yet, THIS is suddenly in here:
"Can you do me a favor? I asked after a second of hesitation.
He was suddenly wary. "That depends on what you want."
"It's not much, I assured him.
He waited, guarded but curious.
"I just wondered... if you could warn me beforehand the next time you decide to ignore me for my own good. Just so I'm prepared." I looked at the lemonade bottle as I spoke, tracing the circle of the opening with my pinkie finger.
You know, I've read all the way through this 5th chapter before - but I'm having the hardest time getting through it this time because I know what's coming up; and the whole Biology finger-pricking-blood scene was bad the first time around - and it was bad in Midnight Sun, too; but it was alot funnier. I was just brushing it off at the time because this was supposed to be a kids story.
This is one of my most frustrating issues with Stephenie Meyer's Vampires... She KNOWS that blood is ESSENTIAL to them enough to make a big deal out of it - like slipping scenes like that into her pretty story. And YET, she does absolutely no research surrounding it - like, how it is a very important ingredient (in fact, the MAIN ingredient) needed to change a Human into a Vampire.
The idea of reading this book REPELS me; and I am NOT going to get through it without making the attempt to fix it - at least, in places. And before I can continue; I'm really going to have to give Bella somewhat of a personality before I can even begin to get into (maybe) fixing Edward - whose character, frankly, seems almost too screwed up to fix, ha!
I was hoping to "just be able to read this". But, here goes... Twilight ReVAMPED: Chapter 1 - First Sight REWRITE.
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