Ok, I had a whole bunch of stuff written here, but this is getting long and I am apparently getting into Edward, now - So I'll skip ahead and spare you this. But Stephenie, you're missing out on SO MANY things, and I'm only just starting to read this. WHY would you not have taken the time to flesh out these characters? I've read you say somewhere, that you published Twilight because you wanted to share your pretty characters with the world. Then WHY DIDN'T YOU? I'm really beginning to wonder if ANYONE - even an editor - read this book before it was ever published.
Maybe it is because I'm pretty sure that Stephenie has inserted herself into this book instead of writing BELLA's story... But I keep reading stuff that does NOT sound like a teenager: I requested that I be assigned kitchen detail for the duration of my stay. He was willing enough to hand over the keys to the banquet hall. How many kids even know what a banquet hall is, and if they do - is that the current slang phrasing they would use to refer to the kitchen?
Ok, I'm being a little picky here... In "Midnight Sun", which was admittedly written after Twilight; Edward is very cautious about his hands touching Bella and vice versa for awhile. And yet in Biology class, he touches her hand to stop her from taking the slide out of the microscope? But then, of course... When they touch, it stings Bella's hand "as if an electric current had passed through them". Stephenie was reaching for their first "zinger"?! It's lame. Edward is a Vampire AND cautious - maybe even a perfectionist. And he's been hiding himself in plain sight from Humans for decades. He isn't going to suddenly forget about the things he needs to do to keep himself in disguise. If anything, he'd be extra-on-his-guard.
OMG, I rolled my eyes before I could stop myself... "You put on a good show," he said slowly. "But I'd be willing to bet that you're suffering more than you let anyone see." IF I hadn't just read a chapter and a half of Bella going on and on about how unhappy and horrible this place was - IF she had really been meek and thoughtful in her demeanor about her situation up until now; THEN Edward's amazingly sympathetic insightful observation wouldn't have been so worthy of an eye-roll!
Mike skipped quickly to my side and picked up my books for me. I imagined him with a wagging tail. This is something like the 3rd or 4th remark I've seen Bella make that refers to Mike as a dog. Could you possibly make Mike look any more dopey or Bella seem MORE like such a shallow biotch?! I'm having a really hard time imagining ANY guy in my class in high school who acted like this toward any girl - girlfriend or otherwise. You don't even have MIKE right! He's just here for you to try and make us all think that Bella is worthy of absolutely everyone's fascination - not just Edward's. I'd say YOU are an attention hog, Stephenie; and part of your fantasy is to not only have YOUR guy into you, but EVERY ONE IN CLOSE PROXIMITY TO YOU. You're good at using "tricks", Stephenie. Too bad you SUCK at actual storytelling, and your fantasies are SO PATHETIC!
WOOLGATHERING?! Here's how it's used in a sentence... so my woolgathering was only interrupted when it was my turn to serve; my team ducked warily out of the way every time I was up. That's either a newfangled slang term that hasn't caught on in my urban Seattle neighborhood yet, or this is YET ANOTHER example of STEPHENIE's voice in here INSTEAD of BELLA's!
Stephenie is also constantly letting us know when exactly Bella is happier and when she's not - like when she getting into the cab of her truck out of the rain, she's happier. When the sun breaks, she's momentarily happier. And it's the same with every little thing that bothers her.
For a character who is supposed to be so shy, selfless and overly-considerate - Bella sure is sensitive to her own mood fluctuations. Jeez, she's almost ridiculous about them - every other sentence, in places, it changes for no reason at all. Apparently, she's just rattling her mood journal off to us.
Ok, so this wasn't a very nifty chapter to read, it was nothing but irritating to me - not even any cute little fanfictionish lines to chuckle over. I would imagine that every chapter will have it's own little quirks. I hope there aren't many more like this one...
No comments:
Post a Comment